Happily ever after my ass!
Once upon a time, long long ago there lived a princess in a castle… yeah, we’ve all heard those stories. Fairy Tales, bedtime stories, crock of shit is more like it. I use to love those stories; my favorite was Cinderella of course. This poor girl who lost her dad (hmm same as me) and lived with 2 mean sisters (okay, I had 2 sisters and a brother and they weren’t’ mean per say but they did mean things to me like telling me I was adopted, or found in the Everglades as a baby) and dreamed of the day her prince would come save her from her hell (being a fat kid I always dreamed of the day a handsome man would actually want me). Truth be told, I really was never into the fairy tales like that. I liked the Dr. Seuss books, little house on the prairie series, The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew books, then onto the Edgar Allen Poe books and anything dark and cryptic, I was that kid!
I think I knew even at a young age that the Fairy Tales were such a lying crock of crap that I couldn’t get into them. What do they teach kids, especially the girls. That if they wait long enough their prince will come rescue them? Screw that, I’ll rescue myself thank you and I’ll be teaching my daughter to rescue herself and never ever depend on someone else to do it for her. Now before you get your drawers all bunched up I’m not saying she should never have or want someone to help her, I’m saying she’s going to know not to solely rely on the help of a man or woman, to be her own savior! Something I’ve had to do over and over again.
Lets look at Cinderella first. She was born into wealth but after her father remarried (foolishly thinking that she needed a “mother” figure because he wasn’t doing a well enough job) then died she was left in hell for years. Her “fairy godmother” came to her and told her she could go to the ball, to find that prince so she could be rescued. Yeah sure, some crap happened and she had to fight the evil step mom but she didn’t do it alone, no she sat up in her room crying while the mice risked their lives, the male mice, to set her free so she could slip her dainty foot in that stupid glass shoe and wouldn’t you know it.. all her dreams came true instantly. She married her prince and lived happily ever after.. bleck!
Now what about Sleeping Beauty? Here’s a chick that was cursed from birth, (story of my life). So to protect her the king and queen sent her to live in the woods w/ not 1 but 3 fairy godmothers…WTF… lucky bitch, but they couldn’t use their magic. I’d be pissed if I had to live in the forest and do all that work and then find out I could have used magic to help!! Well anyways, she goes out into the woods singing and dancing (cause that’s what all beautiful young girls do, especially alone) and don’t you just know it… luck have it, her prince is there! They fall in love in those 15 minutes they spend together and the prince has determined she’s the one he’ll risk his life for, which is what he has to do when her dumb ass touches the spindle and slips into a deep coma. When he finally battles the dragon/witch and the thorn bushes he makes it too her and his kiss wakes her up, therefore saving the entire kingdom. WHAT A CROCK OF SH*T!
Shall we move on to Snow White? It takes 7 dwarfs and a prince to protect and save her, greedy bitch had 8 men! What about Ariel? She was 16 years old when she ran away from home, sold her soul basically to the devil and ended up being saved the prince. What were these idiots trying to teach kids? The messages are all over the place. I mean you have defiant 16 yr olds who get in trouble but are rescued and get in no trouble. Then you young girls who do no wrong, always pleasant and polite only to be screwed over by evil people and then rescued by true love.. Oh please, give me a break. If you’ve noticed even Disney has started putting a twist on their stories making the girls tougher, braver and even saving the boys! Thank God! Now the message is you don’t have to have a man (or wife for the boys) in your life to live happily ever after. It’s a pipe dream that needs to be squashed before it does more damage. The truth is you have to be happy with yourself if you want to live happily ever after, no man or woman is going to make that happen.
I think this is why I never really got into fairy tales, I knew they were a joke. Life doesn’t work this way, it never has and never will. Now if your lucky enough to find a partner in life who is willing to be with you during your hard times and fun times, always willing to do whatever is needed, that’s great! More power to you, but I do not believe we should be teaching our daughters that it will take a man to make their dreams come true just as well as we should not be teaching our son’s that they have to be the savior. I know some think it’s the man’s job to be the bread winner and protector and seeing as how they make more and are generally stronger it makes sense, but.. and this is a big but…women don’t have to have a man in today’s society to be considered complete, a success, a real woman. We can kill our own bugs, take out our own trash and I really don’t think there are any dragon’s to slay so we’re pretty safe there. I think tonight I’ll read a crazy Dr. Seuss book to my 9 yr old, make her laugh and giggle instead of filling her head with bull crap about a man having to rescue her for her to be happy.