Last year on May 23, 2011 I had gastric bypass surgery, (I’ve blogged about it). In January I hit my surgeon’s goal weight for me (I’d like to go lower) so he gave me a referral to a plastic surgeon. I’ve been told all along that the reconstructive surgery would be covered by the insurance “IF” I had medical conditions that were a direct result from the first surgery. So I’ve managed to let myself hope for it, pray for it and actually want it, then a month or so ago my regular surgeon informed me that I have a tumor under one of my incision spots, (it’s been hurting since my last surgery in Feb and not getting better). At first I thought, okay.. I can deal with this. He said it was 99.99999% benign and that the plastic surgeon could take care of it when he did the reconstructive surgery.. So it was another medical condition to add to it so it would be covered. But then, as my luck would have it, one of the other women in my support group asked me last week during our meeting “did he (meaning our surgeon) talk to you about costs?”.. Me being completely dumbfounded said “No, there’s no cost if there’s a medical reason for it”. Then she says “No, he told me it was $3000 for the bare minimum surgery, just the tummy tuck, not the trunk life or thigh lift”… WHAT!!!!!!!! Dammit.. that’s what I get for dreaming and hoping.
So tomorrow I go to the plastic surgeon. I am mixed with emotions tonight. Do I just give up and say no and don’t even bother going? Why miss work for it if it’s going to cost me what I can’t afford. Do I go just to hear what he says? Do I let myself hope? If ya’ll knew me you’d know I don’t let myself hope for anything, ever. It’s just not worth it for me. Why bother hoping for anything when it all seems to go the other way when I do? But I’ve decided I’m gonna do something different for me. I’m gonna go to the dr’s tomorrow and I’m going to hope for the best. There, I said it. I’m gonna hope. I mean, something’s gotta go my way at some point, right?