Today I had someone on my Facebook page delete me. I thought he was a friend. I mean we went to high school together, and although we weren’t friends then we were becoming friends on Facebook. We had fun banter that went back and forth every day. I looked forward too it, especially when I was at work. He would make me laugh so it took me completely by surprise when he deleted me today after I made a comment to him. My comment wasn’t angry or mean, just that I didn’t like being called sweetheart (even my husband doesn’t call me that name) and he didn’t need to explain anything to me. I figured he’d just laugh about it, think oh I riled her up and then move on, but no, he deleted me. I’ve since blocked him because I don’t play those kinds of emotional games with people, I don’t delete then ask for permission to come back. I’m not a fair-weather friend; I’m there for you through thick or thin, always. I’m also not a trusting person so if you break my trust; 9 times out of 10 the person who does break it will never get it back.
Now I’m sitting here fighting with my own emotions. Why does it hurt me so badly when people who aren’t a part of my everyday “real” life, even people I’ve never even met in the past delete me? Is it just that constant drive of wanting to be accepted? Is it really the rejection of it all? What causes me to sit and fret or think or worry about when people turn their back on me? My own sister, my flesh and blood turned on me after our mother died and sometimes when someone new does it, it hurts just as badly for me. People have always said I was so tough, so strong and independent, but I’m really not. I want to be accepted just as much as the next guy does. I want to be loved and know that my friends will always be there for me, but I know that’s asking too much. I guess in today’s instant gratification world it’s easier just throw people away when you tire of them rather then actually maintain a friendship. I am lucky however, I do have several life long friends that I know are always there for me, no matter what and they will never leave me. Heck, one of them has even said they’d come back and haunt me after death..lol.
I guess I need to look at it like this. When one of these people delete me for whatever reason, it’s Gods way of taking the trash out of my life.