I once read a blog about lists, and how everyone loves a) reading about lists and b) coming up with their own list. My husband for the last two days has posted a list on his favorite horror movies (which I might add I do not agree with almost any of it, although his 2nd list is better then his 1st) So I figured I’d post a list of my biggest pet peeves. I’m already in an annoyed state of mind this morning, so lets just add to that! (Don’t you find you write better when you’re already fired up?)
1) I would say my biggest pet peeve of all time is waiting. I have no patience, I know this so there is really no reason for God or anyone else to test me or my patience. If my dr’s appt is at 3pm, you’d better believe I will be there by 2:30 and I should NOT have to wait an hour, hour and a half even two hours for the dr to see me. He/she should allot their time so that they have the time to see the patients. I hate sitting at a red light and the idiot in front of me doesn’t punch the gas as soon as it turns green, c’mon dude… we’ve already waited for the light to run it’s cycle, now I gotta wait for you to figure out where the gas pedal is, put the phone down and actually go??? Ugh!!
2) My next peeve is loud eaters/drinkers. My son is seriously the loudest drinker I’ve ever known. He can be in the kitchen, me in the living room and I can hear him “GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP”.. REALLY???? You gotta drink that loudly? And lord don’t give him or my husband a piece of gum!! “SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK”.. when they are chewing gum I can’t help but think of the movie “Chicago” and the scene… “If you pop that gum one more time… HE HAD IT COMING”..We all know that dry cereal is loud, so why do you gotta shove twice the capacity of your mouth in making it impossible to crunch the food w/ the mouth actually closed? Here’s an idea, take a smaller bite and maybe, just maybe China won’t have to hear you crunching!
(If you’ve never seen it, google this scene.. He Had it coming)
3) People who drive in the left lane but REFUSE to go faster then the posted speed limit, and usually rides parallel with the car in the right lane blocking any chance of getting around either of them. IT’S THE FAST LANE FOR A REASON… TO SPEED YOU DUMBA**, get over already!
(I so need this sign in my car)
4) Mommy’s who have to announce every single thing they are doing w/ their precious bundle of joy. “Oh Joey.. your so cute.. I love you.. do you want to read a book, that’s right a book! You know what a book is don’t you? That’s because mommy reads a book to you everyday! Want some juicy juice? Let mommy get you some juicy juice you cutey wootey lil baby. You hungry Joey? Let mommy make you a wonderfully nutritious meal because I’m such a good mommy I want you to grow up all healthy and happy”.. omg shoot me. We all know your feeding that brat Chicken McNuggets and fries when you think no one is looking.. And why do you have to pat yourself on the back with every little thing you do for that kid? Do you think you’re the first mother in the world? Stop announcing everything your doing; we really don’t need a play by play.
(I said no more wire HANGERS! there’s a doting mother for ya)
5) The people who believe the world is their personal garbage can. I mean, as long as their car is clean on the inside, who cares if the rest of the world looks like crap, right? I know I don’t want to see any trash in my car, but it’s quite okay to see it all over the parking lots, the highways, and the beaches. And I dare anyone to tell me differently! I once got into a huge fight that ended spilling out onto the highway because I yelled at some woman to stop throwing all her bags of trash out the window. Her kid threw out literally 5 big McDonald’s bags plus cups when I finally couldn’t take it anymore and screamed at her. She threatened me, tried to run me off the road, but damn she had a clean car!!! And that’s what’s most important here in America!
(I’ll be putting this into my phone)