What does Father’s Day mean to me? Well for most of my childhood it was just a reminder of something I didn’t have. A day that meant I had to remember that my daddy was taken away from me at a young age. As time passed it changed and I started celebrating it for my mom, even giving her flowers and a card. I was around 16 the first year I did that. I remember I took her the flowers to her job and she started crying. I didn’t understand then why she was, I thought I had done something wrong. It wasn’t until a few years later and a little bit wiser that I realized those were tears of joy, a joy I would find out later myself that only a single mom can understand. Not to be sexist so it would also be understood by a single father. When you have to play both roles it’s nice to know your kids see it and appreciate it.
(That cute little baby is me, and the man holding me is my dad)
Later on for a very short time Fathers Day was celebrated for my kids and their sperm donor. We would do something for him; he would walk around acting like he deserved everything and then would go back to being his normal angry, hurtful, mean person that he was.
After I left him I learned the heartache of being the mom and dad, plus I had a little extra on me. You see unlike my mom, my husband didn’t die. No he was there, saying the meanest things and treating the kids horribly because I had left him. It was a long 2 yr court battle that finally ended in me having sole conservatorship of the kids to set us free.
(the 3 amigo’s)
After that I fell in love with a wonderful man, a man who had 3 kids of his own, was very loving and attentive, devoted to his kids and then to me and mine. We married and I moved my kids 1500 miles from Texasto Virginiawhere we still reside. We just celebrated our 3rd anniversary as a family and even though it’s been a tough road we are just that, a family. My kids call him daddy and my youngest barely remembers a life without him being her dad. She made him a card and a pen holder (shaped like a tie) for Fathers Day and the line that touched me most (both happily and sad) was “Thank you for loving me more then my real daddy”. So now Father’s Day has the meaning it’s supposed to in my life, well at least for kids. We get to celebrate a man who is there for us, there to protect and teach and be a family with.
(The daddy who didn’t have to be, but did because he wanted too)
So Happy Fathers Day to all the dad’s who do more then just donate the sperm needed to create life. To all the dad’s who changed the diapers, bottle fed the babies at 3 am to let the mom’s sleep, to the dad’s who didn’t have to be a dad to kids that weren’t their own but did anyways. To the mom’s who do the job of both mom and dad, and most of all to my husband, my
mom (who played both roles) and my dad (may they both rest in peace).