Embracing the insanity

Last week my kids left to go spend a few weeks in Texas with their grandparents.  It of course was very hard to put them on the plane and let them fly 1500 miles away from me, but my husband was off of work that day and the following 4 days so it was easier because I wasn’t left alone.  I know I know, your thinking “What the hell is wrong with her, a night alone sounds like heaven to me” especially if your married or a mom or a dad and never have any alone time.  Well, a.. and I repeat A night alone sounds good, however several do not.

the evil plane that flew my babies away


To me silence is deafening.  I’ve said that before and have found that not a lot of people understand what I mean by it.  For someone like me who has a brain that NEVER shuts up, when I’m left alone my brain tends to go into overdrive.  It will literally drive me insane if I am left alone for too long.  I tend to run through the “what ifs” and “why’s” when my brain goes into overdrive.  It’s maddening I tell you, MADDENING.

So tonight, my first night alone I have already watched 2 movies, currently watching my 3rd, started a painting project for a friends little girl’s bday present, worked on a different painting project and now I’m writing a blog.  At this rate by the end of the week I will have done everything I can and be well on my way to insanity.  I’m going to try not to fight it to hard, rather embrace the insanity, let it wash over me, engulfing me into an alternate reality!


Pizza Hut’s new Garlic Bread Pizza Review.. 2 thumbs down!

Looks yummy don’t it…


Tonight is the night before my kids leave to go to their grandparents for 3 weeks so I thought I’d be nice and order Pizza Huts newest creation, The Garlic Bread Pizza!  It looks so yummy in the commercials and well, my kids LOVE the garlic bread like that so how could we go wrong with it?  Well… lets state how we could go wrong with it.


I ordered it online at 7:06pm tonight, Wednesday July 25, 2012.  After I hit submit and it processed, it popped up and said the delivery time was estimated at 8:36pm!  WTH..  A full hour and half later?  What happened to 30 mins or it’s free (yes I know that was Dominoes’ but still).


Finally it arrives, not at 8:36 it was a little earlier 8:05pm but that still sucks! The guy hands me the pizzas and already I can tell they are not even hot!  I open the boxes and I’m disgusted.  The pizzas are hard, and cold and greasy!  I could have made them cheaper and so much better then this and saved myself a hell of a lot of money!   I will not be ordering them again and I’m sending out a warning to everyone, don’t waste your money on these, they defiantly aren’t worth it.


Cold, hard, burnt on the sides and greasy.. def not like their pictures show them to look!


My own worst enemy

You don’t need to be my enemy..

I am my own worst enemy.

You don’t need to call me names

There’s nothing you can say that’s any worse then what I say to myself.

You don’t need to beat me up

I do that all by myself everyday

You don’t need to remind me of all I’ve done wrong

I never let myself forget

You don’t need to judge me

I’ve already judged myself

You should be my friend

As I am loyal and loving

You should call me names

Like sis, girlfriend, even brat will work

You should grab me hard

And hug me like your scared you’ll never see me again

You should point out the right things I do

And never let me forget

You don’t ever need to ask for me,

As I’ll always be there for you

This chick is AMAZING!!

Savannah Dietrich, a name I’m sure you’ve probably not heard, but hopefully after this you will not only remember it but you’ll be as fired up as I am and do what ever is needed to support this extremely brave young lady.  In August of 2011 Savannah attended a party where she drank too much and passed out.  Yes, she was only 16 at the time, but honestly, how many of us drank something at 16?  I know I did, I mean hell I did more then just drink.  After she passed out 2 boys sexually assaulted her and if that wasn’t bad enough, they took pictures of the assault.  It wasn’t until months later that she learned of the pictures.  Could you imagine the hell you would go through knowing that because you did something you shouldn’t have such as drinking that it would lead to rape and then the humiliation of photo’s being shown all over, not knowing who saw them?

As if that humiliation wasn’t enough this poor girl learned just minutes before they boys pleaded guilty to first degree sexual abuse and misdemeanor voyeurism that they plea bargained for a softer punishment.  Although Savannah could not discuss the details of their punishment she was quoted as saying “It’s like they got a slap on the wrist”.

Because she was so hurt and felt like the boys had got away with their crimes she decided to do something amazing.  She posted the names of her assailants on Twitter for the world to see. She tweeted “They got off very easy … and they tell me to be quiet, just silencing me at the end,” Afterwards she posted “They said I can’t talk about it or I’ll be locked up. ….Protect rapist is more important than getting justice for the victim in Louisville.”

Because she posted their names after Judge Dee McDonald admonished everyone at the hearing to not speak about what happened in court or about the crime she is now facing charges.  WTF??? How is it legal for a judge to tell anyone to not talk about what happened to them?  Now the victim gets to be victimized again, only this time by the law that’s supposed to be protecting her!  I feel all rapists who are convicted should be branded with a big R somewhere visible on their body!  I’m not talking about a tattoo, no I’m talking about a cattle branding iron that’s red hot from the fire and push that bitch right into their skin!  Maybe right there on the side of their neck, hell right on the face!  And then give them NO ointment to help it heal, let them get sick.  This poor girl now faces up to 180 days in jail and a $500 fine while these pricks get off with a slap on the wrist.  I hope some of her guy friends find these two and BEAT THE HOLY FREAKING CRAP OUT THEM.. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

As a survivor I have to say I have the utmost respect for her.  I pray that she heals and grows from all of this and that her life gives her amazing blessings from here on out!  God Bless you Savannah.

My mom’s easy but tasty Beef Stroganoff

This was one of my all time favorite dinners that my mom would make growing up.  It’s her Beef Straganoff recipe, it’s easy and delish!  Nothing better the slurping up the egg noodles and sopping up the gravy with a piece of french bread.  Too bad I can’t eat it anymore, but you can.  I hope you like it as much as I did.


Grocery List

1) London Broil (now my mom used the L.B, I prefer Sirloin as it’s more tender)

2) Sour Cream

3) Onion

4) Garlic

5) Mushrooms (fresh are best but canned will work in a pinch)


7) 2 Reg size cans of beef broth


Crossgrain cut 1/4 inch streps and then cut again. Brown the meat in a little bit of oil, take out of the oil and add the onion and mushrooms (both chopped of course) to pan and sautee them til they are golden brown.  Add garlic (a couple of cloves chopped up or as much or little as your pallet likes).  Empty oil from the pan and put all back in.  Take the 2 cans of beef broth and save 1/4 cup to the side.. Add 1/3 cup ketchup to the pan and mix and simmer slowly.  In the 1/4 cup broth you’ve saved to the side add a little bit of flour to make it a little thick for the gravy.  Thick, not pasty.  Add to mixture in the pan and and simmer for an additional 10-15 minutes.  Just before serving add a huge dollop of sour cream to mixture and stir it in good.  Serve over noodle or rice, however I think the egg noodles are best!



Grab some popcorn and sodas

For the second weekend in a row a family member who lives in this apartment with me has kept me up all night long, leaving me to be lethargic on my only day off.  Last week I managed to get my husband’s car to the shop and a quick run to the grocery store.  Today I made it to Target then the grocery store then home.  Being so tired has me just laying on the couch and watching the boob tube.  Today I watched “Midnight in Paris” and then “Cast Away” and currently I’m loosing brain cells watching “Teen Mom” (that is like one of my guilty pleasures).  This got me to thinking today about movies that I love and that no matter what I will watch them over and over again.  So here is my list, because I know how much you all love lists!

Grab the popcorn and Ice Cold Coke!


5)  Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory- and no not the Jonny Depp remake, (no offense Jonny, yes your gorgeous and talented and all but Gene beat you on this one).  I love this movie.  “The snoozberries taste like snoozberries”.  Every time I watch this movie my heart races just a little bit when they are getting to go into that first room, the one with the chocolate river and the mushrooms with whipped cream in them.  Oh how I always wanted to eat the little tea cup (I always imagined they tasted like frosted lemon) and eat the giant gummy bear and handful of the whipped cream and then wash it all down with the chocolate from the river!

Oh how I wanted to go in this room


4)  The Coal Miners Daughter- I don’t know what it is about movies like this, but I’m drawn to them.  You’ll see in my number 3 what I mean.  I like how they start out on the bottom and always seem to make it, no matter what happens in their lives.  In this case poor little Loretta was basically raped her first time, ended up getting pregnant right away, popped out 6 kids and still managed to become a very famous and wealthy person.  She never let her circumstances determine her outcome.  Something I wish I knew how to do.  Not to mention they have a good sound track to it.


Despite it all, these two stayed together their entire lives, until Doolittle passed away.

3)  Urban Cowboy- First and foremost, the appeal of this movie is the soundtrack, followed closely by a very fit very good looking John in tight jeans and a cowboy hat!  Is anything else really needed here?  You have to get passed the domestic violence, the “woman should do as their husbands say so” crap and realize it’s a story of two people who were in love but didn’t know how to show it.  Obviously they didn’t have to good role models.  I had the luck to catch it on VH1 one night where they do the pop up things on it. Interesting enough the couple this movie was based on were divorced by time the movie came out.  Growing up in Fla I always dreamed of going to Gilley’s in PasadenaTexas and finding me a real cowboy.  Little did I know until I moved to BaytownTexas (which is only a 15 minute drive to Pasadena) that Gilley’s had closed down!!! ASSHOLES.. how dare they.  The PasadenaPublicSchool district purchased the land and tore the old building down and has now made it a bus depot for their school buses.  At least I got to see the old building, even if it was from the road.



2) Unfaithful-  OHH MY GOODNESS.. every woman dreams of a hot young French guy finding us extremely attractive and delving us into that world of adultery and excitement and sex sex sex!  Amazingly hot sex with an amazingly hot Frenchman, oh that accent, that body.. Good God help me!  Of course this movie show’s just how badly an affair can turn out, that it’s not just sex, it’s extreme torture and an emotional roller coaster that nobody wants to go through ever. Although I don’t think most affairs end in murder then covering it up then living in fear of being discovered, but hey that makes good movies!

Completely sexy


And last but not least… the number one movie I have to watch if I catch it on TV (and yes I own the movie too) is… drum roll please…



1) The Shawshank Redemption- For some reason this movie to me is the greatest movie ever made.  You completely get drawn into the characters and root for Andy to be freed from his hell.  You jump for joy when the guards take out the “sisters” that were sexually and physically assaulting Andy for years.  You get upset when poor Brooks decides to take his life instead of living outside of the prison he spent his life in. You get concerned that Andy is going to kill himself after the kid gets shot for knowing the truth that Andy was innocent and he has to spend 2 months in the hole.  You love Red through the whole movie, how he is the voice of reason and handles life in stride.  The look of bewilderment in the scene where the warden throws the stone through the poster and all you hear is it clanking through the tunnel!  Oh and when he reads the paper and then hears the sirens and knows.. just knows he’s been judged!  AWESOME!

The sweet taste of freedom!


Now I have to put in a few honorable mentions.  Of course there is Grease, Any of the Tim Burton movies, Coraline, The nightmare before Christmas, The Corpse Bride ect.  Forrest Gump, Cast Away.  Can’t forget the stupidly funny ones like Super Troopers, The History of the World, The Simpsons Movie (I’m a die hard fan of the Simpsons and literally screamed in excitement when they announced they were making a movie).  I’ll never be able to narrow my list down to just 1 movie, but hey, I don’t have too.  I can watch them all a hundred times, never again or change my mind on which one is my favorite to match my mood.  I am after a woman, and aren’t we known for changing our minds?

Social Media..good or bad?

Over the last few years there has been a great deal of press generated about Facebook and other social media websites like Myspace, and Classmates.com to name a few.  These sites we all know offer a chance to meet new “online” friends as well as find old friends we’ve lost contact with or even family.

As with anything there is the dark side that accompanies these sites, people use them to spew their hate, others to have online affairs, others to find people to have real life affairs with.  It’s now legal to use the contents of one’s page against them in a court of law, and trust me, it’s being used to it’s fullest potential in divorce cases.  I heard on the radio one day that facebook has now become the number 1 cause of divorce, I’m not sure how accurate that is but it make sense.  If your married or dating someone and they have a facebook page and someone of the opposite sex has commented something that made one of your eyebrows raise, it kinda plants that seed of doubt and once that’s been planted it just grows and grows.

But that is not what this post is really about.  For me personally, the social networks have been a blessing.  In 2006 I sent an email to a man I went to school and graduated with asking if he remembered me.  He wrote back saying yes he did and he had always wondered what happened to me.  We became fast friends, and eventually confiding in each other how miserable our lives were and how we felt alone in the world.  He decided after 15 years of marriage that he could no longer stay with his ex wife and asked her for a divorce.  I helped him through that and tried to give him the confidence he needed to go out and start a new life.  Now before you go thinking anything bad he and I were not a couple, we were just friends and in fact he started dating another woman as soon as his attorney said it was okay for him to do so, SO NO BARBRA-SUE he did not leave you for me, he left you because you were cold and mean! (that’s a different story right there that I could totally go off and rant about for a few pages).  Fast forward a few months and he and I were still talking and I finally broke down and told him how I lived in fear of being murdered by my then husband.  I told him all about the abuse and how I wanted to get out but I didn’t think I could support my 2 kids on my own because I didn’t make enough money.  He told me that he had to get me out of there, that he had realized he was in love with me and didn’t want me hurt.  He even said he didn’t care if I chose to be with him or not that my safety was the most important thing.  So he sent me some money to help me find an apartment and then came to help me get my stuff out of my house after my ex attacked me the night before I left.  This man that I had sent an email asking if he remembered me has been my husband for 3 years now, and even though it’s been one hell of a rough road THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOU NON-CHRISTIAN WITCH, we are still as much in love as we were the day we said I do.

this one was just wayy too fitting for the wolf in “Christians” clothing

Another blessing for me has been the re-connecting of family members and friends.  I have found cousins that I hadn’t spoken to in 20+ years; I’ve found an uncle who I hadn’t spoken too in at least that long.  I’ve found childhood friends and even friends I made as an adult but for one reason or another let slip away.  I have nieces and nephews, brother and sisters, friends from my past and even some I’ve never actually met in person but I know they are there for me on my page.

One thing that I really thought about the other day is how some of the people on my page that I went to high school with really weren’t how I thought they were.  I mean I knew them in school but were never really friendly to them, just acquaintances.  I always thought they viewed me in a particular way and I viewed them as well too good for me.  I wasn’t rich growing up, still not rich now, I wasn’t skinny or popular or beautiful.  I wasn’t the cheerleader, the athlete, in fact I hated school and wanted very little to do with the one’s who I felt looked down on me.  Now that I’ve gotten to know them better on Facebook I see that they were never really what I thought they were.  They are people just like me, trying to make their way through this life.  Yeah, there are a few that I still am guarded about, but that is more about my trust issues and me.  If you doubt that ask my husband Rob, he will tell you that I trust no-one 100%, never have and never will.

So overall I’m just going to say that I LOVE social media networking sites.  They’ve brought my husband and I together, they’ve found family I thought I’d never see or talk to again back to me, they’ve helped me find old friends and make new ones.  Are there bad things about them, yeah sure like I said there is always a dark side to everything.  I’ve had to delete a few people, even block some but more often then not I’ve had positive responses then negative.  So thank you Myspace for helping me find my soul mate, and thank you Facebook for helping me find friends and family and letting us keep in touch, especially since none of us can afford to travel to see each other in person.