If there is one thing that has always caught my attention it’s been a man in uniform! Hell, even a good-looking chick in uniform will make me perk up. There’s just something about uniforms that does it for me. Maybe it’s the way they look, maybe it’s the “power” behind the thought of it, who knows, well okay, it’s the way they look! Ever since boys stopped having cooties I’ve noticed them in uniforms. In high school I’d catch myself checking out the JR. ROTC guys (if only my husband woulda talked to me back then in his uniform, we would have been together since high school and not 20 yrs later) and well, even back then I liked the older guys so I would be checking out the police officers and firemen and of course military personnel. Oh how I adored those military men/women in uniform. I so badly wanted to be one of them, to be able to rock the uniform, but alas my health wasn’t quite what the damn Air Force wanted so change of dreams for me, but that did not deter my love for the uniformed man! As I got older I dated several men in uniforms, cops, firemen, EMT and now I am married to a retired AF Vet (I married him while he was still in and always in uniform and yes I do miss seeing him in uniform).
Now, if you know me you know I have a love of pastries and foods that are less then healthy (hence the RYN surgery and 100lb weight loss). I love fair foods, the smells of the fair, the tastes of the corn dogs, cotton candy (ok not so much this anymore) and the fried funnel cakes.. YUMMY.. I could at one time eat my weight in funnel cakes, and now they make things like fried Twinkies, fried Oreo’s, fried Snickers (I’m still seeking this morsel of fried yummyness out) and yesterday at the amusement park we found a fried Banana Split! Oh my goodness, it was pure delight! I only ate like 3 or 4 bites of it because that’s all my tummy will tolerate now but those were very delicious bites! 4 of us tried to eat this monster dessert but we could not finish it, it was that huge.
So here is where my story really begins. Yesterday we went to Kings Dominion, an amusement park here in Northern Virginia. It was a lovely day, not too hot, not too much sunshine, nice breeze, and not crowded, perfect day to go. At the end of the day we headed out to the car to have some man come up to us to tell us that my husbands car had a flat tire and their bus driver had noticed it when they parked. Oh this made my husband just so overly joyed as he had just had the tire fixed the day before only to find it flat that night then had it re-repaired that morning only to find it flat again. While he was getting all the stuff out to change the tire my stepdaughter, daughter and I all sat in my car resting our poor tired feet. The bus parked next to us was open with lots of people standing around getting ready to bored it and take off. I noticed it was all men and even commented to my daughters that it was all men except for like 2. I thought how odd was it that a bus full of men comes to an amusement park. That’s when one of the guys walked over to my husband and asked him if he needed any help. My husband told him no, that was okay he could get it. The guy goes “Are you sure man, there’s 60 marines over there that could do it for you.”…. HELLO… you read that right.. 60, SIXTY, YES SIXTY MARINES!!! I didn’t hear him say that so my stepdaughter goes “that’s a bus full of Marines.” Have I mentioned how much I love this child? Let the teasing begin!!! I love to give my husband hell when it comes to uniformed men. Face it, it keeps him on his toes.. and besides, if I didn’t he wouldn’t know what to do because this is what I do! So after the woohoo’s and hell ya’s.. I say to my daughters loud enough for Rob to hear “I’m gonna go take a little walk for a few minutes”, to which I hear “Oh hell no you aren’t.. you don’t need to go anywhere!” <snickers>
My daughters and I are making comments and well yes, I’ll admit it, I was checking them all out. Don’t let any comment Rob tells you (if he says anything like he wouldn’t) fool you, he checks out women all the time. He’ll even point them out to me and ask me what I think. While we are waiting on him to finish with the tire and giggling amongst ourselves several more men come walking up to the bus, carrying.. you guessed it.. FUNNEL CAKES.. Oh LAWDY HELP ME.. uniformed men with funnel cakes! Talk about heaven at your doorstep! My southern roots came out as I thought to myself watching these well.. very young and in shape men carrying funnel cakes.. “Oh my.. I do believe I have the vapors”.. lol.. my mind is not right. Jokes are flying through my head at warp speed but unfortunately I cannot say them as I have a 14 yr old and a 9 yr old in the car with me. You know, things like “well hello there private, corporal, SSgt whatever rank you may be, let me lick that powdered sugar off your face and fingers”.. And of course I’m texting my bestie all about it whose cheering my naughty thoughts on..LOL.. (warning to all of you, she thinks like me).
Sadly however, before Rob is done changing the tire the bus pulls out and leaves. I should thank them for the delicious thoughts they put in my head. As they were leaving my 14 year old says “maybe daddy should put his uniform on for you when we get home”… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. that was the perfect ending sentence for that scenerio.. especially if you knew this child’s prudish “Christian” mother who has no use for sex!