Enough Already


There comes a time when you just want to grab handful’s of hair and start pulling it out and screaming at the world “OK ALREADY… I’VE HAD ENOUGH!!”  I’m sure you’ve all had days like that, where life is just throwing you curve ball after curve ball and your swinging but you keep missing.  Well that’s been my week.  I rarely (if ever) do anything that costs a lot of money.  I know that I can’t justify spending money on anything that is not essential when I don’t have it to spare, and I’ve always come to find out quickly that if I do break down and spend a little money something always.. ALWAYS happens right afterwards making me regret my decision.  It happened just that exact same way again, without fail.

For 3 summers I’ve been promising my kids and my step kids that I would take them to Kings Dominion for the day, and for 2 of those summers I’ve had to tell them I couldn’t do it because of money.  This year I was approved for a credit card and decided I was going too use it and take these kids that more often then not in their lives they get told no we can’t do it.  I should have known it was doomed from the start.  My husband had a bad tire on his back drivers side tire and with the coming trip to the park plus his trip to Fla we decided that he would just go buy a new one for it the Wednesday afternoon before we went to the park.  Well, a couple of hours after he got home that night he went outside to find the tire had gone completely flat in that short amount of time.  This threw a small wrench in the works, but didn’t deter us.  Instead of getting up and heading straight over to the park we just went to the tire place as soon as it opened and they said there was a leak in the valve stem and they fixed it.  Ok, off to the park.  We spend the day walking and walking, waiting and walking and having fun only to come out and find, yup, you guessed it.. the tire was flat again!  So he changes it to the donut and we make it home.

Now his plans were to leave at 5 am to head to Florida to take his kids home, which of course didn’t happen.  Instead he had to come out and get the tire fixed, which meant waiting until they open at 8am.  This time they said the rim was bent but they smoothed and sealed it and it would be fine but he’d have to buy a new one at some point, sooner rather then later.  They finally get on the road to head home.  I text him at around 10ish and tell him to watch the tire and check the pressure at the next stop, you guessed it, going flat again!  He finds a tire shop near the border of NC and they say they’ve fixed it, that there was a leak.  He gets on the road again only to text me later that he hears the air coming out of it and it’s going flat again.  DAMMIT, are you fucking kidding me??  So I tell him to get a can of fix a flat for now and use it.  He does and thankfully it gets him to his destination.  His father and he  looked for a new tire and rim but couldn’t find one.  He gets back on the road and is suppose to be home by 12 am.  As midnight rolls around there is no Rob, at 12:30 I text to find out where he is.  He’s not far and should be home soon.  He doesn’t tell me until after he’s home that when he was about an hour away from home his car start lagging really bad, the oil light came on and the check engine light.  He says he went through 12 quarts of oil just to get home and his car is smoking horribly.  JUST FUCKING FANTASTIC.

The next morning we get up and go to take his car to the shop to drop off for them to fix and oh my god, the smoke billowing out of the back of his car is blinding.  I honestly thought there would be accidents behind him simply because you could not see through the smoke.  Luckily we made it there without incident and left the key and a description of what was wrong in the drop box.  The following morning I called our trusty mechanic and talked to him about it, his reply “that doesn’t sound good”.  Not what I needed to hear.  He calls me back later to tell me that it would be cheaper probably to just buy a new car, which is not an option seeing as how we still have like 2 years payments on this one!  He tells me the turbo has gone and for a new one it will be $2500, but he had found a used one for $950.  I have no other choice but to tell him go ahead and fix it and we will make payments to pay it off, (we are very fortunate enough to have found an awesome mechanic who will let us make payments) just to add it to our account as we are still paying for the last fix he had to have on his car.   I should have NEVER used the credit card for a day at an amusement park, I knew better then that.  I’m not meant for carefree days, days that won’t come back to bite me in the ass.

So now I’ve had to cancel my tooth surgery this week as I cannot afford to have my tooth removed and get his car fixed.  My kid’s grandparents called and asked if the kids could go to Texas to visit them for 3 weeks, which I have absolutely no problem with but (and this is a big BUT) I am terrified they will see their biological father while there and that would not be good for my kids.  I know you the reader do not know the whole story so I will sum it up for you, he’s a bad bad man who has no concern for them, their safety or well being and has done everything he can to hurt them their entire lives which is why I have sole conservator ship over them.  I have to come up with the money to fix the car, and work is just simply chaotic as 2 of the instructors have been fired and we have a class full of people screaming because they aren’t getting their money worth!  CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!  I’m ready to throw in the towel, scratch that, I’m not ready too I’m THROWING IN THE TOWEL.  I don’t understand why God thinks I can handle so much because I feel like I’m breaking!

Thank you for letting me vent!


7 thoughts on “Enough Already

  1. I’m sorry ur goin thru all this new crap honey… it always seems like something else happens in the midst of something else happening, but I’m just glad you went to the amusement park & had a fun day with the kids. God knows you can handle it… He believes in you, and so do I. I know we all go thru our tough spots and you’ll wipe this one out too. I love you sweetie… ❤

    • God apparently thinks I’m a pack mule cause he keeps heaping it on. I wish I wouldn’t have gone, I could have used that $400 to go towards the car. I know you’re in the same situation.. I pray all the time that things change for us.. and soon.. Love you

    • I didn’t even talk about my hernia and the fact that Dr. Lin wants to operate in Aug if I haven’t been approved for the plastic surgery yet.. so that’ll make 2 surgeries upcoming..

  2. I had to relieve Selima tonight and luckily she wasn’t upset with me being late. I told her what happened with the tire and turbo and the costs for a new one from the dealer a used one and them finding a new one for $50 more than the used one. On top of the fact I have court Thur. It’s a tough pill to swallow but she said what happened with the tire and the car is crappy and it seems like one thing after another. But there was a blessing, the fix a flat worked, and I was able to make it all the way home and to the mechanics without having to stay overnight somewhere in a hotel and I didn’t have to pay to have it towed all the way home both of which would have cost a lot more and they found a new part for less then the dealer cost. It’s not that comforting I know but it is true, what happened sucked but on the other hand it could have been worse and we have a mechanic who works with us on payments.

    • it can always be worse.. but where are we going to come up with $1300 or so to repair it.. and btw the fix a flat wasnt’ a cure. we still have to buy a new tire and rim.. it’s never ending.. our bad luck is never ending.. and our blessings always seem to be so small that they are outweighed by the shit that piles on top of them..I’m so tired…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s