My darling husband told me that I should write about my trip to the Bahamas’ for y’all. I started to ask a smart ass question, “which time” lol, but I knew which time he was referring too so I’m going to tell you about my graduation gift, my cruise.
It was a 4 day 3 nights Carnival Cruise that my mom got me for graduating high school. My friend Shawna and I went together. Oh Lord help the poor people on that ship, 2 happy horny 18 year olds alone and unsupervised and allowed to drink! It started on a hot July Friday morning in Florida. We were up with the sun, packed and ready to go. We drove to the local Kmart to meet the charter bus that was going to take us to the Cape to get on the ship. We were so excited we forgot to eat breakfast, and um lunch. That’s an important piece of information to know for later. We get to the ship around 2 in the afternoon and get on board leaving our luggage and heading for the bar! We were told that the minute we hit the boat’s floor we were on international water and back then 18 was legal drinking age on international waters. Hello alcohol!
Now as I mentioned we did not eat all day, and it was hot as hell out. Mix that in with the several Budweisers I drank and the horrendous storm that rolled in as we shipped out, well sea sickness hit me! I’d been on boats every weekend practically growing up and I never ever got sea sick. I wasn’t drunk yet so it wasn’t that. All I remember is that ship just rocking back and forth something fierce. It got so bad the tug boat turned around and left before we were even out at sea. I got 4 motion sickness pills from the steward and crashed by 7. What a freaking bummer, but man I couldn’t take that feeling!
This stupid picture would not load correctly.. sorry you have to turn your head!
We got up the next morning in the Bahamas’. EVERY freaking man on that ship asked me how I was feeling and if I was feeling better. Apparently my travel mate made the rounds the night before and let everyone know I was sick and in bed. Gee, thanks Shawna! So we get off the ship and there are protestors and people trying to braid our hair and people trying to get us to take a ride in their cabs and so on. As we are walking to the main streets we see a statue of the Queen. I tell Shawna to take a picture of the statue and I said “Don’t cut off the Queen’s head”. Needless to say they residents of the island were not happy with my comment and made it clear that her and I needed to run quickly! Below is the picture, and yes she cut off the Queens head!
We spent the day walking, and walking, and walking, and shopping, and walking.. oh and did I mention we walked? We walked the entire friggin island. Seriously, we never took a cab, we walked everywhere. We got back to the ship around 5 to drop off all we had bought, shower and change and hit the island up for the night life. We met up with two guys who I only remember one of their names, it was Joe. They were 18 and on the cruise for their graduation gift too, so obviously we hit off with them. We decided to walk to the beach to this little bar we had seen earlier in the day. As we are walking through the city I see the BIGGEST fucking roach ever! It was bigger then my foot. If you know me, you know I’m terrified of bugs, especially roaches. I screamed, Shawna screamed, the guys laughed and we took off running. We made it to the beach in record time, lol. We hung out and drank and danced and had a ball. We had to be back on the ship by 10 pm and we made it with just moments to spare. There was no way in hell I was going to sleep that night away so we hit the music bar where the bartender there fell in love with me! I never paid for a drink, and lord did I drink. “Here Shan, try this grasshopper, try this pink squirrel, try this naked lady”… I tried every drink on the menu. My friends weren’t too happy that they were paying for theirs but too bad. Shawna left to go up on the deck and was followed by the guy I don’t remember his name. I to this day have no clue what they did the rest of the night. Joe and I hung out at the bar laughing and drinking. Joe trying harder and harder every time the bartender talked to me, me knowing neither of them stood a chance as my Aunt Flo had come to visit me earlier that day. Let me tell you how fun it was buying pads in the Bahamas’. You cant just go to the store, pick up the box and take it to the register, no.. EVERYTHING was behind glass cases so you had to ask the guy who could barely understand you for them loudly as the store was packed. Oh what fun that was. Finally I stumbled back to the room around the time the sun was coming up.
The next day was a day of leisure. We sailed towards home so slowly there wasn’t even a breeze. There were no clouds, nothing but blue skies and blue ocean waters. I laid out at the pool with Shawna for an hour or so but I figured, WTH am I doing? I can go poolside whenever I want, I can’t drink or gamble whenever I want. So you guessed it. I hit the casino first. I dropped about $50 and decided it was time to leave. So I walked around and did some shopping on the ship. I bought a bottle of Tequila to take home with me as I could legally take 1 bottle only! Then I hit the music bar, and yay, my guy was there, and happy to see me. I wish I could remember his name too, not because I’d like to find him but because the fact I’m forgetting names and faces is making me feel old as hell. Sunday night was the Captain’s dinner night. It was the only night, in fact the only time we ate on the ship. The dinner was amazing, the waiters put on quite the show. The table we were at had us sitting with 3 couples, all who got married on the same day at the same time and took the same cruise for their honeymoon and all had cabins next to each other. Weird huh? Sunday night had us dancing and drinking and drinking, oh and drinking some more. Now the bad part was we had to be up and out of our cabin by 8 am. We didn’t get back to the cabin until after 4 am. By now you all know me and know my brain never stops, so I jump up thinking it was after 8, get her up we get showered and dressed and out the door leaving our suitcases where we were suppose too, get upstairs to find… it’s only 6:30am!!! Oy vey. Then like 2 hours later I realized that I packed my embarrassingly bought pads and had none with me for the trip home. I go to find my suitcase and it’s gone, they’ve already taken them off. The hunt is on. It takes me almost an hour to track them down and get them out. SHIPS ARE FREAKING HUGE. I get back upstairs to find Joe and the other guy there and we are all sleeping at the tables waiting to dock.
We give the guy’s our goodbyes and get on our charter home. We make it back to the Kmart at around 1 and we are starving. We’ve realized that we didn’t eat but 2 times the whole time we were gone. We stopped at the Pizza Hut that was right there by the Kmart and ordered a large pizza and devoured it! I mean the 2 of us ate the entire pizza, not leaving even crumbs. If we weren’t so exhausted we may have ordered a second one. We made it back to my home and both of us hit my bed and slept! My mom woke Shawna up at some point because her mother had called looking for her to make sure we made it home safely and she went home. I slept peacefully until the next morning! When I weighed myself the next morning I had lost 10lbs in one weekend. I’m the only person I know who can go on a cruise with all that food and lose weight, oh well a good time was had by all, except maybe my liver.