On two separate pages

English: Fork in Road

English: Fork in Road (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What do you do when you and your spouse are on 2 very separate pages in life?  I mean in every aspect, from how to raise the kids, to work schedules, to sleep schedules to sex schedules?  Life really doesn’t have a harmony when you and your life partner are off sync.

For the last year I have found myself more often then not alone with the kids, and when he is home it’s always a debate on what’s important and what’s not.  Usually he finds something super important but I, who is home all the time with the kids don’t find it as important.  He says he’s feels unimportant and has not authority over the kids.  I know it’s because he’s only home 40% of the time now and when’s he’s home he’s sleeping.  How do you explain to the kids though?

He works nights, I work days.  In fact I work 6 days a week.  It’s hard and it sucks eggs.  On the night’s that he’s home he wants to stay up all night and chat.  Why wouldn’t he?  He’s use to being up all night and doesn’t get sleepy until the morning, whereas I have to get up before the sun and am ready to go to bed by 10pm, 11 on a good night.  Sex is even a worse problem.  I find my libido rising where he finds that when he’s actually home and rested I’m either not home or already in bed sleeping.  I’m tired of being on separate pages, I’m tired of having a life with someone who isn’t in my life that often.  I know he wishes he was here more, I know he’s looking for a daytime job, I know he loves me and he’s as tired of it all as I am and that’s the only thing that makes it doable.  I know he feels like I do and wants to be with me as badly as I want to be with him.    It’s not an easy life but it’s our life.  I know there are many other couples doing the same things as we are.  In this world you have to do what you have to do to survive.  My question is to those who are doing the same things, what are some of the things you do to not grow apart?

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5 thoughts on “On two separate pages

  1. I know how you feel baby and I wish I were home at the same time as you more often. I know it won’t fix everything but I do believe if I can find a normal mon-fri daytime job it will fix a lot of things. I’m tired of this schedule I’m on, I’m tired of not seeing you.

  2. That’s gotta be tough. Although in a way it has its perks, as the kids probably don’t need babysitters? (Idk how old they are…) Hopefully though he’ll find a daytime job. I’m sure seeing each other more will definitely help.

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