The names and faces in the following story have been changed to protect the identity of the guilty!
Way back in 1991/1992 there was this man and this woman named Satan and Angel who were in love (so she thought), they spent all their time listening to music and going to concerts. You see they were young and had no kids so they could afford to go to concerts and frankly back then $20 would get you in to any show unlike today where you have to sell your first born to afford a ticket to anything.
Well unbeknownst to the lovely young lady her man cheated on her ALL THE TIME, he was a whore, and because so he gave her a UTI (Urinary tract infection). Any woman who has ever suffered from one of these understands how painfully irritating they are. Those and yeast infections are 2 of the most uncomfortable and irritating problems that women have to suffer from simply because a) we have a moist warm area (perfect to grow bacteria in my dear) and b) God kinda hates us.. thank you very much EVE!
So Satan and Angel had tickets to go see the Monsters of Rock Concert in Lakeland Florida and were both super stocked about seeing it! With Angels terrific luck (and Satan’s evil ways) she felt the normal tugging sensation 1 day before the concert so she called her doctor who called in the antibiotic for her. She started taking them that night however it usually takes 2-3 days of treatment to notice any relief so she was stuck with the effects of this damn infection for the show. Joyness. If your not from Florida and don’t know the area then let me tell you that the drive to the Civic Center in Lakeland is long and void of anything much more then livestock, at least back then. By time they made it to the Civic Center poor Angel felt as though her bladder was going to rupture along with Vajayjay. Now back then there was NOTHING near the center for her to run over too to use the bathroom, no McDonalds, no 7-11, no port-a- potties.. no nothing. Angle and Satan run to the front where there was a police officer standing guard at the front door so that no-one could get in. Angel explained nicely but quickly to the officer how she had this STD that the jackass Satan had given her (she didn’t quite say it like that though) and that she really really really had to pee. The officer stated that no one was allowed in because they didn’t want anyone sneaking off to see the bands. Angel promised that was not the case and that the nice officer could accompany her to the stall and watch her pee if he wanted too but she HAD TO PEE DAMNIT. Well the officer turned into a big ol prick and started yelling in her face about how it was not his problem she had to piss and to get the F away from the front door and wait to get in like everyone else. Satan of course started to bow up and go after the cop but Angel stopped him, she didn’t need a repeat of the last concert they had gone too and not gotten to enjoy because he ended up in handcuffs and carted away.
Angel told the cop pretty much to go do very bad things to himself and drop dead as they walked away, her almost crying now she had to pee so badly. As they rounded the corner they saw the officers car parked just out of his sight. A light bulb went off in her head and common sense left her for a few moments.. Had she been arrested for what happened next she would have simply claimed insanity brought on by the pain in her bladder.
Angel climbed up on top of the cop car, dozens of people standing around watching to see what she was going to do and there…. forever marked in those onlookers memories she did the unthinkable. She dropped her pants, squatted and pissed all over the top of the cops car! Couple of wiggles to help dry her off she stood, pulled her pants up and jumped off the car to the applause of everyone in the parking lot! The cop never left his post to investigate the cheering so he had no clue. As they walked into the concert an hour later and passed the prick cop she simply blew him a kiss!
Never ever tell a woman with a UTI to hold it.. that’s not gonna happen.