Curse it all to hell

Cursed (2005 film)

Cursed (2005 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you believe in curses?  What about generational curses?  Voodoo curses?  Do you believe it’s possible for one person or one family be cursed for life?  Or you do  you believe that they are only able to work if the person believes they are cursed and buys into it causing their own bad luck?  What about the Jackpot curses in Vegas, you know where people win the big Multimillion dollar jackpot only to die the next day?  That leads into the Lotto Winners Curse.  How many times have you heard about people who were so deserving of winning the big Power Ball Lotto and their lives became worse because of the money windfall they were cast into?

You see, I ask because I believe that I am cursed, that my family is cursed.  Somewhere along the line someone cursed our family.  I don’t know, maybe we deserve it.  Maybe I had a great great great something or other who liked to torture small animals and sacrifice small children to the dark Lord himself.  Hell, with the way my luck has gone,  maybe  the Dark Lord himself is my great great great whatever.  Did my 4 Great Grandma share a bed with the Devil himself?  What do I have to do the break this curse, and is it even possible?

It doesn’t matter what I do to try to be a good person, to live right and even yes try to be Godly in my way of thinking and living.  I try very hard to never be mean to anyone (unless of course they poke the bear with a stick.. then it’s a free for all)  I try to help when I can, to love unconditionally, to follow man’s laws as well as God‘s.  I’ve tried to show my kids that doing the right thing is right and will reward you in life with good things but it’s not working.

I could go into great detail about all the things that have happened to make me believe this but why bother?  It’s not going to change the outcome.  I just know that anyone connected to me seems to suffer the same fate as I have.  Just ask my husband now (although he’ll never admit that it is because of me his life sucks so badly now) but the facts are in black and white.  His life was better before me.  Now his health is declining, his emotional health is in jeopardy, he’s working harder then he ever has and he’s getting further and further behind in this life.  He will tell you it is not because of me but because of his Ex Wife and her relentless journey to ruin him, which is true to a point but.. and it’s a big but so stay with me on this… If he was with ANYONE else in the world she would not be able to get away with lying, stealing and defrauding 2 states for over a year and having the courts rape him financially over and over again giving her win after win.  No, if he was with someone who wasn’t cursed, the courts would have seen what was CLEARLY written in black and white and she would not have gotten away with it and he would be celebrating today instead of fighting his worst fears.  My ex got away with doing the same things and has yet to have his “Karma” come back to him, and I know now it won’t.  How do I know that?  Well it’s simple Watson, he’s not with me anymore so his “curse” of bad luck is over.

So here I sit… at work… angry, upset, fearful, anxious and wanting to run as fast as I can in a different direction.. but I know it’s no use as no matter where I go.. I’ll still be cursed.  If you think I’m over re-acting, that I’m just emotional and confused, ask my sister Michelle.. she’ll tell you we are cursed.  Ask several of my family members who are struggling to just barely survive, they will tell you.

Maybe I should just accept that I am on the dark side’s list and just start living that way.. it may be more fun and less stressful.  Well who am I kidding.. whereas the ex’s in our lives have gotten away with breaking the law over and over and over again.. I would end up in prison on the first offense.. the judge making me an example to all.


10 thoughts on “Curse it all to hell

  1. *Grabs Shannon by the shoulders and SHAKES* Honey, ever thought that the reason you are dealing with so much shit is that you can cope with it?
    You believe in God, isn’t it said that He never gives you more than you can handle? For me (I’m not a believer) it means that the reason you have all this to deal with is because you can handle it when others can’t. Being a “curse” to Robert just makes me want to yell at you!!! What does he have to say to that? I bet he agrees with me and you are the best thing that has ever happened to him!! I love the person I am am getting to know, and look up to you with all the shit you handle, you thinking you can’t handle it just proves you are human!

  2. I know I can handle.. I’ve been handling it for years, my whole life.. I’m just so tired ya know.. it would be nice to not have to “handle it” for a day, a week.. an hour! I believe in God.. I know he gives us only what we can handle and that which doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger..but damn girl.. why does he think I have to be a camel my whole life.. sometimes we need a break to recharge our batteries… and mine are running out. I worry now intensely about some new issue’s brought to light and I see nothing but heartache and pain and struggles for the future.. there is no “light at the end of this tunnel” for me anymore..

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