Okay.. the moment you have all been waiting for….
What is it like living with a Vampire loving, Zombie Apocalypse hoping, Anal CDO (see, it should be OCD but he will tell you that it is suppose to be alphabetical order) night owl who says he can’t sleep but then conks out sitting up at the desk… well I’m gonna tell you!
I will start off with the down side to living with someone like Robert. Some days it can be a complete and total nerve wracking annoyance. I mean, for instance I will put a glass down on the table and say go to the bathroom. I come back and the glass is gone. I ask where’s my glass and he will say “Oh, was that yours? I thought you were done with it so I put it in the dishwasher because that’s where the dirty dishes go.”… Really???? WTF.. I just finished my water for that moment, not the day! Another example, the other day we had to take everything out of the kitchen so that the pest control company could come spray. I made a point of putting my calcium chews and Vitamin C chews in the hall closet and the rest of the medicine that was in the kitchen cabinet in a bag and in the dining room, which to any other person would have said “oh, okay she wants this medicine here” right???? Not for this anal OCD person… no.. I opened the kitchen cabinet last night and low and behold there was the chews.. right back in the kitchen… I asked “Why is this back here? I put it in the hall closet for a reason”… he said “Oh… I’m sorry honey.. I thought you just didn’t have room in the bag so you put it in there”… WHAAATTT???? There’s no room in the bag so I walked it all the way down the hall and opened the big closet door and put it in there instead of just putting oh say on the floor beside the bag?????
My husband owns over 500 movies. They are all in alphabetical order. They are a real source of entertainment as well as strife. I find it funny to move them just so… not out of order mind you but not evenly lined up. Tilt them sideways a little bit. I chuckle to myself as he goes behind me putting them back the right way..hahahaha.. he doesn’t find it as funny as I do. I’ve often threatened to change them around out of order but he’s said his ex did that and it just pissed him off, and even though I find it funny I want to do NOTHING that reminds him of her. I do other things that drive him crazy along those lines… I move things on the shelves just slightly so he’ll come behind me and put them back. I move things in the bedroom, or better yet I’ll just throw my clothes on the floor (in front of my closet mind you) or put my shoes on the floor (in my defense we have no room for all my shoes.. and my closet is full of his crap). I’ll purposely sit things down where I know he’ll go crazy leaving it there. I’m so mean.. I leave the soap on the bathtub counter instead of up on the shelf for it. All things I know just drive him crazy.. MMWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.. (my evil laugh)..
Robert is military. He served 20 years in the USAF. His father was military and served 6 years USAF then 20 years Army National Guard. Rob was raised that you do exactly what your told, when your told without hesitation or question. His kids are Air Force Brats and well, they take after him. OCD and quiet and yes, they do everything they are told when they are told with no questions asked and no hesitation (which is great from a parent’s perspective but really kinda of just weird ya know). Now, y’all know me, you know I’m sarcastic and moody and smart mouthed so naturally my kids are like me. The apple never falls far from the tree. So my kids question everything, back talk (not like foul language telling us no but smart mouth back talk like, “I just cleaned my room yesterday.. why do I gotta clean it again today, it’s just gonna get dirty again” kinda of back talk). Poor Rob.. he was thrown into a family of sarcastic back talkers and frankly, he’s not faring well. His blood pressure is rising, his anxieties are going up up up, his patience is going down down down. He doesn’t know how to cope with all the independence in this house. I mean, how would he? He was married to a controlling woman who controlled every aspect of his life and his kids lives for 16 years, so now being with someone who tells him he can do whatever he wants, go wherever he wants to go, do whatever he wants to do and has 3 people to contend with that does what they want when they want pretty much.. well he’s as lost as a whore in a church on Sunday morning.
Rob told me when we first started dating how his ex wife NEVER had sex with him anymore.. that it was a once every 3 or 4 months thing, ya know to “do her wifely duty”. She just didn’t want sex, ever.
He said he just wished he had someone who enjoyed sex. Little did he know what he was getting into..hahaha.. I am a very sexual creature. I need sex. I crave sex. I want sex all the time. Everyday if I could, twice a day some days. At first he loved it. He was in heaven. To him he had won the lotto, but like winning the lotto the curse of it usually follows soon after. He realized about a year or so into our relationship that he just wasn’t able to keep up. It’s not that he didn’t want too but physically, well lets just say he’s not 18 anymore. After we finally married and moved in together he really realized he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep up the pace with a sex addict. Now he does his job well.. and he keeps me somewhat satisfied (I don’t think I’ll ever have enough.. like a crack addict can’t get enough of that sweet sweet rock… I can’t get enough of that sweet sweet meat). He tries and that’s all that matters to me.. the fact that he is trying and just hasn’t given up.
I could go on about all his little quirks and qualms but I’ll save that for another day.. Instead I will end this blog with some of the Amazing things about being married to him. When he and I first started talking to each other I was in an abusive marriage. I told him all about it and he vowed to do anything and everything to help me get out of it. We weren’t even dating, we were just friends. The night before I left my ex husband I was packing my stuff to move (I had already told him I was moving out) and he attacked me. The cops were called (of course he wasn’t arrested, stupid Texas cops with their good ol’ boy syndrome) but I ended up packing up my 2 kids and whatever I could put in my car and ran to a hotel to stay at until my apartment was ready for me. Rob paid for the hotel for us and helped me get into the apartment. The day after that happened he jumped on a plane and flew out to Texas to help me rent a UHaul and storage to get the rest of my stuff out. This is why I named him my Superman, and he’s lived up to it more then once. A year later Hurricane Ike slammed into Texas causing millions in damage. My ex husband did nothing to help me and the kids (his kids mind you) or to even help us prepare. He didn’t ask if we needed any supplies, any food, anything… but my Superman knowing how scared I was to be alone with 2 kids in an apartment during a category 5 hurricane took a leave of absence and jumped on the last plane into Houston and came to ride out the hurricane with us.
Rob does so many little things to try to please me. He buys me boxes of Lucky Charms cereal so I can just pick out the marshmallows (I’m so addicted to them).. He does the laundry because I really can’t carry all of it down 3 flights of stairs with my shoulder hurting like it is and frankly, I hate doing the laundry. He massages my neck and shoulders ( On my right side I have a dislocated rib that presents itself as shoulder pain. They cannot move it back into place so I have constant pain there. On the left side I now have done some damage that is causing severe shoulder pain). He rubs my hip when the arthritis is flared up and I can barely walk. He buys me little things when I say I want them like movies or ornaments (my s’mores) and tries to buy me things to make me feel like I’m one of “those” girls. He puts up with my anger and my mood swings (he understands why I have them and has tried to help me deal with them). Do we have our problems?? Yeah, what married couple doesn’t? But the fact is, he is my soul mate.. he is my ying to my yang. He pulls me in when I’m going off the deep in and fires me up when I’m turning cold. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.. without the problems his fucking ex makes for us.. yeah I can so picture that… but we have to deal with her ass for another 5 years.. so there’s nothing I can do about that.
So there is your peek into life with Robbie.. like I said, it’s just a little bit.. I didn’t even touch on his over bearing mama who refuses to cut the umbilical..lol.. whheewww wee.. I could just keep going.. but I won’t..
Go see what he has to say about me…