6 days to a scary yet again world….

Well.. the countdown is truly on now.  My husband‘s last day of work is in 6 short days with no new job lined up.  We’ve faced this scenario before.. so I should be prepared for it.  I should know that it’s not the end of the world, we’ve survived it once we’ll survive it again.  But I’m scared.  Truly scared, and well a little angry.

light-at-end-of-tunnel

 

I’m much too old for this crap again.  This time however, it’s not just us struggling to make ends meet, no.. it’s my daughter having to stop her Tae Kwan Do training, which is heartbreaking because she’s now a brown belt and wants to get to black belt.  My husbands ex wife is going to be even more angry and infuriated because she won’t be getting “her” money while he’s out of work and the arrears will again rise rise rise.. debt that hasn’t drown us yet.. will do so this year.  My son is starting to talk about going to his Prom and the Military Ball… but we can’t afford the tickets for him.  He’s turning 16 in 4 short months… no party for him…  My husband’s oldest daughter is getting married in March and we won’t be able to go.  My husband is going to have to take the train and go by himself and our gift will be crappy.  We already can’t help in paying for it.  His son graduates in May, won’t be going to that either.

When Rob retired from serving 20 years in the USAF it took him almost a year to find a job.. and guess what??? It’s even harder now to find one.  Damn it.. I’m pissed off!  Life was not suppose to be this way for any of us.  It’s not like we haven’t worked our asses off.  And now the Government has raised our taxes so my already measly check will be even smaller???? Well guess what President Obama.. maybe I just won’t file my taxes this year.. or next year.. and when you finally catch me and throw me in jail for it… GOOD.. you can pay to feed me and house me and give me medical.  I told you.. I’m scared and with fear comes anger.  I’m angry at my husband even though it’s not his fault he can’t find a job.  I’m angry at the Government for fucking up everything… I’m angry again, even though I said I was going to try to be happy this year.  Which I promise I am trying to be.  I don’t let myself think too much about my up coming pains.. and when the dark thoughts start to go through my mind I start telling myself really stupid shit in my head to make it stop.  You know.. .like running away from life and everyone in it… going on random killing spree’s and telling myself they are all vampires and deserved to be killed… getting pedicures… who did let the dog’s out… a bunch of different random things.

So please just deal with me if I get a little mad.. a little down.. a little crazy over the next few days/weeks/months… or until we are homeless…which may be sooner rather then later.

 

 

 

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15 thoughts on “6 days to a scary yet again world….

  1. I have great empathy for you as I have been without a job since I returned from living in Italy in November of 2011. I have 3 degrees, a brilliant career history, have applied for 524 jobs to date and have had only 2 response. Both for which I didn’t perfectly qualify. My savings is 2 months from being completely gone and I have put my stuff 2 huge storages, and now will live back and forth with my son and my daughter until I get a job. I’m get discouraged to say the least, but I know I am exactly where I need to be for whatever reason, and that the perfect means of making money is currently on its way to me, it simply has not arrived yet. The same for you. Believe that against all odds you will go to that wedding, not get in debt to the ex, have that parry for your son and see your daughter get her black belt. I will believe with you, let’s see how fast your husband gets re-employed. I’m not desperate to work, and have my book I am writing and I know that is why I am not getting hired. You have a husband who needs a job, let’s secret it together. If you want.

  2. Hi! *waving* just coming back to the blog world, as life has been really busy.:) I’m honestly so sorry for the stress you both must be under.:( A lack of money creates a huge dominoes affect in our lives, just as you’ve explained it! As for ex- wife’s? *blah* there never happy about anything! Financially life is good for me. I remember days when I was younger and didn’t know how I would survive! Your husband..although he sounds quite strong and tuff, I’m sure is feeling Shit about the whole thing! Men just hide this better than we do.:) Anger is good! It’s better than bottling up our emotions and then breaking down. Huge hug to you and my fingers are crossed that life gives you a break, and your husband finds a job. 🙂 …….Paula xxx

  3. Can understand how you feel, because I was jobless for a few times. Each time when trying to re-enter the job market,it gets harder as you get older. Hope your husband will be able to get a new job soon !

  4. First off, you’re a great writer. Great. Very engaging and clear. 2ndly, I understand the fear, laid off in 2009 and lost ALOT. However, you are two and your heads together will figure this through, somehow. The economy is crap and companies are all over the place in tackling it, least of all dedicated to retaining employees. But I wish the best for you and your husband, and I can only imagine how disappointing for your daughter to stop classes (maybe she can volunteer at the school to say around the conversation)? Not sure how old she is? 16/17 – maybe get a job with them? Or perhaps she can join a meetup where people who practice this meet up? There are ways to remain a part of a community. Anyway, all the best to you (perhaps consider having sponsors for your blog). You’re good enough and it may be a way to make extra money? Take care.

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