Where did the fearlessness in me go?

I got out of my car today and while walking towards the store I realized I was taking almost baby steps in fear that I was going to fall on the snow/slush/ice mix.  In December 2011 on a day where it HADN’T snowed I was running across a parking lot to get in my dr’s office to have some blood drawn when I hit a patch of black ice and before I knew it I was on the ground, having landed first directly on my tailbone then hitting my head giving myself a concussion.  It happened so fast I didn’t even have time to try to catch myself.  My body hurt for literally weeks, it was hard to walk to stand to sit.  Ugh


Yeah.. I kinda looked like this

Yeah.. I kinda looked like this

When I got back to my car (safely without falling) I started thinking, “What happened to the fearless Shannon?”  I use to have no fear.  I have bungee jumped in Daytona, I use to ride every ride at the fairs and parks (except those really small ones cause frankly I was too fat).  Even though I was fat and had very low self esteem I had no problems what-s0-ever walking into a room full of people I didn’t know, I would go anywhere, do anything.  Jump in the car and just drive, not knowing where I was going.  Now I think of going on a Sunday drive alone and I worry about what if I have a flat, or end up going down some back country road that gets me in trouble?  Today I feared falling on the ice.  I still want to skydive but have been told I can’t because I have arthritis in my hip and they’ve said the landing from doing that will crush my hip joints.  So now I’m scared to even try it.  I have found the only ting I can still do is walk into a room filled with people I don’t know, hopefully that will never change.

I think I have realized that I’m getting old and frankly that SUCKS…






12 thoughts on “Where did the fearlessness in me go?

  1. I agree about the fearless aspect…Nothing ever bothered me and if it did! I ignored it and pushed through! Like you I worry about breaking down when I drive to the country…we think too much!!
    Hugs Paula xxxx

  2. Ice has that effect on me, I remember once I slipped while walking across a car park and slid around like bambi trying to get up, squealing and laughing. i ended up rolling to a curb so i could pull myself up (d*ck) I felt so stupid even though no one saw me but i laughed loudly (by myself) for the rest of the trip. These days though I feel like a 90 year old woman hobbling out of the door at the first sight of snow. The cold air makes my bones ache, my knees click when i bend…im only 27! getting old makes us fear the world -physically- because we know we probably wont spring back as easily these days if that ice catches us out…so you just have to rock those knee pads and maybe add a few ‘go faster stripes’ to your zimmer frame…that will keep those heads turning 😉

    • LOL.. I was laughing at myself yesterday.. and when the wind blew I threw my arms out to balance myself like that was going to help at all!!!! And all that did was make my shoulder hurt worse…Ugh..

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