One holiday a fat girl hates more then any is…. Valentines Day! It’s truly just a Hallmark holiday that was created in an office some where to just make money. Some CEO was sitting at his desk one day and thought.. ya know after Christmas we really don’t have another money making holiday until what, Easter? Well that’s just too long sirs.. we must create a day in between Christmas and Easter that we can capitalize on and make the masses spend hoards of money trying to compete with one another to “out do” the next guy and leave them feeling inadequate if they don’t. That way the next year they buy even more crap to try to prove how much the love their g/f or b/f. Its a vicious vicious cycle that will never be broken until you get to a point in your life where you realize you just don’t need that shit. What you need is a man/woman who will show you on a random Tuesday in September that they not only love you but need you, worship you, desire you and hang on every word you say. Okay, I know that’s pushing it but you get the point. I was one of those fat girls who didn’t get the flowers or the candy or the stuffed animals or the damn jewelry (damn those precious pretty stones that I desire so but just don’t get to have)!!! No, instead I got nothing in High School and then when I got older and married I had not 1 but 2 husbands who told me I was too fat and didn’t need the candy… so I gave up on it. Fast forward and now I’m married to a man who promises me the world, unfortunately though he has the wallet of beggar and can’t even afford to buy me a globe! So I’ve decided that I hate this holiday with a true and total passion.. and this past week has added to it all.
First off, my son who is 15 1/2 decided to write a poem for a girl and give it to her for Valentines Day. The other morning he was all set to give it to her when he said reality crashed in on him and he decided not too. When I asked him what he meant by that he said ” Well, I have acne all over my face, I have a belly and I’m different. No girl wants me”…. knife to the heart… and sadly right now he’s right. My son is a very handsome young man who is very bright but he is special needs and will always be my square peg in the round world. High School is so hard for anyone but even harder for a special kid. I know that one day he will find his match, and fall in love and she will love him for who he is, but until then he is going to feel alone and this stupid holiday will make him feel even worse!!! Damn stupid hallmark holiday!
Second reason… My baby girl! She is 10 going on 21! She’s full of life and love and has such an amazing white light about her! She is my miracle baby and continue’s to amaze me with her beauty both inside and out! I look at her and I’m amazed that she comes from me. She has an over abundance of self esteem(thank God) but I have no idea where she got it from because it damn sure didn’t come from me and she hasn’t been around her biological dad long enough to learn anything from him. I’d say she gets it from her step father but she’s been this way since birth! Well she’s always talking about her “crush” and let me tell you friends, that changes almost daily for her! Lord help me! Well today she came home and showed me the stuffed teddy bear and fake rose she got from Adam, a little boy that she’s crushing on and even bought him a rose at school yesterday. When I told her she should be proud of it and asked to let me take a picture she said no, it was embarrassing. I got her to let me take the pic as long as I promised not to put it on Facebook, so I did… I did not however promise not to put it on WordPress!
Then she produces this small little stuffed pig animal and proceeds to tell me how this other little boy gave her that the other day and how jealous he was when she got the other stuff today! And then she whispers to me “I have 10 boys at school that friends have told me like me”…. STOP THE WORLD PLEASE… I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for her to like boys, and wanna date them and getting gifts from them. Man I’m getting old, and getting there quickly!
So to you VALENTINES DAY.. I say screw you! You’ve ruined my month of February for ohhh 30 years or so… I wish you were like that whiny friend that no one wanted to stay with them and would just go away! I hate you Hallmark.. I hate you Valentines Day..