I now know what a chicken in a roaster feels like…

Let me tell you a little about myself.  I was born in South Fla and raised in Central Fla.. I am a true water baby.. I love the beach, the pool, the river, the creek.. doesn’t matter, if it’s water.. I love it.  Now being a “Native” Floridian you probably think.. hey.. she’s tan I bet!  Or, she tans really easily, right?  WRONG!!  You see, I’m a pale skinned freckled redhead and I don’t tan… nope.. shocker I know.  I never have.  I always to from casper white to lobster red right back to casper white (after a good peeling and shedding of my old burnt skin of course).


Hey.. me before going out in the sun..

Hey.. me before going out in the sun..


and me after an hour in the sun

and me after an hour in the sun


Last year I decided that I didn’t want to be so white anymore (of course this was after the guys at work picked on me about my white legs blinding them), so I tried to lay out in the sun (wearing my SPF 40) trying to get color without burning.  It worked a little.. I had somewhat tan arms and chest but my legs only got color with the help of the self tanning lotion.  Man I hate that crap.  It stinks and it’s sticky and it just doesn’t work well.   So after several attempts of being that “tanned” beauty that my mind has always pictured I gave up and went back to white….

So now that spring is here.. (yeah it’s really here even though it’s suppose to snow tomorrow..stupid lying groundhog).. I have decided to get back into shape by getting back into the gym.. now I can’t do what I want because my stupid shoulder still won’t let me but dammit.. I’m gonna do it.. I’ve discovered the punching bag and OMG I have so much fun doing it.. but that’s a different blog.. While I was there the other day I decided to give the tanning bed a try.. I figured I’d try it for a month.. see if it works or not.  Well… I’ve been in it for a total of 13 minutes.  I did 4 mins the first day and even though my skin felt it, there was no real color difference.. So I decided to do 5 mins the next day.. ummm.. yeah, okay… my girls got a little reddish.. my tummy (which is still not use to seeing the sun from so many years of being obese) is a lil reddish.. and my bottom biscuits (yeah.. I got em.. I’m trying to get rid of them but damn.. 130lbs of weight loss made my butt fall a bit) are a little red.. and today after doing only 4 minutes I noticed that the stretch marks under my arms are burnt.. and hurt!  So I guess I’ll skip the bed tomorrow.

My friend is sending me some bronzer that she said I’ll love.  Hopefully it will work.  My question to you (if you’ve tanned) is how the hell do people stay in that hot ass wind tunnel for 20 minutes at a time???? 4 minutes today felt like forever!  I was roasting.  I couldn’t handle more then 5 minutes at the most!  Those of you who do 15-20 minutes, how do you not burst into flames?

Me if I would have stayed in longer...

Me if I would have stayed in longer…


5 thoughts on “I now know what a chicken in a roaster feels like…

    • It sucks doesn’t it?? People use to ask me.. “Are you really from Fla, you have no tan”… I’d always reply “Yeah.. but I don’t have to prove I’ve been to Fla.. I live here”… lol

  1. Lol, I tan easily and never burn… Except the time I was on some kind of medication which didn’t agree with my usual 20 min session on the sunbed – OUCH I spare you the sad, painful details 😉

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