Lacy’s Journal

Disclaimer (the following journal entries are all fictional, any resemblance to any person famous or otherwise is completely coincidental ).  Also contains X-Rated scenes.. if your EASILY offended.. do yourself a favor and leave this blog.. Thank you.

Well the kids are staying with Craig this weekend.  Bri has called me twice, she is really having a hard time dealing with her anger.  Craig told me that his bimbo finally agree’d to having a DNA test done.   She is suppose to go do it next week sometime.  He said the result generally take about 7-10 business days.  I have realized that I can’t make any decisions until I know the results of that test.  When he came over to pick up the kids he hugged me and whispered how very sorry he truly was.. and that he hoped I knew it in my heart that that was true.  I can’t help but wonder if he’s sorry for what he did, or sorry he got caught.

He asked me if Jackson was going to come over this weekend.  I told him what I do in my spare time is my business, he lost the right to know or even ask.  He told me that no matter what.. he will never give up no me, on us.. that he will do whatever it takes for however long it takes to win back my heart and my love and my trust.   Part of me wanted to grab him.. hold onto him.. tell him I believed him.. but that other part.. well it’s a little stronger.. I can’t just forgive and forget. …maybe.. one day.. but not today..

Jackson got here yesterday… he said he wants to stay with me until we find out who has been messing around in my house.  I told him I couldn’t do that.. I couldn’t explain it to the kids.  He said he’d sleep on the couch and we’d just tell them it’s only until things calm down.  I would feel safer if there was a man in the house, it’s very unnerving to be the only adult and know that someone can come into your home whenever they want.  I’m thinking about telling him yes.. but I don’t know how Craig will react.  This is still his house too, and I am still his wife.

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Last night was amazing.  Jackson took away all my worries, all my fears.. all my inhibitions.  I’ve never experienced anything quite like it.  I’m almost ashamed and embarrassed to write about it but I don’t want to forget it either.. who am I kidding.. I will never forget it.  Craig and I have experimented in the past with different sexual things, role playing ect but last night.. I had no clue it was going to happen which made it even more intense.   He cooked us dinner and told me that he wanted to open me up to something new.. to trust him.. I told him I did trust him..completely, and I do..  After we had dinner he lead me upstairs to the master bathroom and drew us a bath and lit candles.. We got in the tub where he then blindfolded me… Omg.. to be deprived of vision made the other senses go into over drive.  Every touch sensual.  I craved more.  “Let me take away all you pain.. all your confusion” he whispered in my ear.  I tried to answer him but he put his finger over my lips and told me “no talking.. you only reply when I ask you a question.  Can you do that?”.. I found myself almost moaning the word “yes” to him.  “Good girl” he said kissing me gently.  He helped me out of the tub, he dried me off and walked me to the bed.  I heard the clink of metal and a moment later felt the cold steel of his handcuffs being put on my left wrist.. he then told me to get on the bed and to lay on my stomach..arms above my head.  He pulled the one arm that was cuffed tight as he looped the cuffs through the headboard and wrapped the steel around the other wrist.  He then started touching my skin.. caressing  my shoulders, rubbing my back… teasingly sliding his fingertips over my ass.  The sensations were wild, I haven’t felt this aroused in a very long time.. I started to tell him so when he told me “NO talking”… then SMACK.. I was completely caught off guard when his hand came down on my bare buttocks… the pain shot through but surprisingly something else shot down.. between my legs… I found myself in total desire for more.. SMACK again.. and again.. by the third one I heard him telling me to breath through the pain.. to relax my muscles and just let it happen.. “Yes sir” I replied.. like someone else had taken over my body… my mind.  While my skin was still stinging from the spanking I had just recieved he changed it up and started laying gentle kiss on it.. rubbing it lightly again.. OMG I’ve never experienced anything like that before.. i craved more.. I craved letting go of everything, to not have to be in control.  When his fingers found their way into my sex they found me more then excited… “Mmm.. you are enjoying this, aren’t you”.. he asked..” I couldn’t find any intelligible words in my mind.. all I could do was wiggle and squirm.  We spent hours in this scene.. him leading, me submitting.  I wanted to please him and in return he was pleasing me.  He used my body in every way possible and I couldn’t get enough of it.  Finally, when we were finished.. he unlocked the cuffs and pulled me to him.. he kissed my cheek and said he hoped I enjoyed it… I fell asleep on his shoulder, completely spent and sated..

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I’m embarrassed to admit this.. but I want more of that.. whatever it was.. I need it.. I need him.. I think I’ll tell him that he can stay..

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