Disclaimer (the following journal entries are all fictional, any resemblance to any person famous or otherwise is completely coincidental ). Also contains X-Rated scenes.. if your EASILY offended.. do yourself a favor and leave this blog.. Thank you
It’s only fitting that the skies have opened up with tears of sorrow for those of us left behind to miss the beautiful Lacy. Her funeral was simply beautiful, flowers from everywhere.. hundreds of people coming to say their final goodbyes, none of them knowing the true story behind it all. I stayed in the back, out of sight… leaving Craig and the kids to be the focus of attention. Only Deborah and Jenna acknowledging me, which was okay. My heart is so completely broken I would much rather be alone anyways.
Craig looked so lonely sitting there in his wheelchair, having only a few hours pass from the hospital with a nurse by his side. His kids huddling around him, all crying uncontrollably. I wanted to reach out to him.. to them.. but I know it’s not my place. I am a big part of the reason she is dead… and I will carry that guilt with me for the rest of my life.. which hopefully God will end sooner rather then later because a life without her is not a life worth living.
The grave side service was short because of the rain. Again I stayed in the back, out of sight until everyone had left. I walked over to her coffin and laid my head down on the top in the rain and let my tears wash over the coffin. I would give anything I have to trade places with her.. she should be here to raise her kids, watch them grow and experience life… I should be the one in the ground.. She was needed and loved by many.. Life is so unfair. The official cause of death was listed as blunt force trauma‘s to her head/chest. Because of the blows she endured her lung collapsed and she slowly bleed out while waiting for help to arrive. The doctors told me that she most likely fell into a deep sleep and never woke up, not knowing what was happening to her. I don’t believe it.. I think she knew she was dying, that’s why she went to Craig… she did love him.. but I know she loved me too… I will pray that she will come see me one day… I long to see her smile just one more time..
I’ve decided to give the journal to Craig.. I copied the pages I wanted to keep.. I will be mailing it to him when I leave.. I’ve put the house up for sale, I can’t go back there knowing that’s where she was taken from… I’m heading off to the Bahama’s first.. maybe enough rum down there will dull this pain…
Good bye Lacy… I will always love you… until we see each other again… xoxo