Ladies: Would you do this?

On the radio this morning they were asking the women listeners if they would go Dutch on paying for their engagement rings?  Their example was, “If you were the one in the relationship that made the most money, would you have a problem with paying for half the cost of the engagement ring?”  Some of the women who called in said they would have no problem what-so-ever paying for half of the ring if they had the money, however most said “NO!  It’s the man’s responsibility to save up for it, buy it and present it to the woman.  That it was their way of showing their undying love to them and it’s meant to represent how unique and special the woman is supposed to be to the man”.  So that got me to thinking… a) I wonder what my friends would say and b) would I be okay with this?  Well.. that’s why I decided to write this blog, to find out what you thought and to tell you what I thought.


For me personally… Even if I had the money, I would not be okay with this.  I guess I’m old fashioned but I believe it’s the man place to do this.  I will tell you that I’ve been married 3 times and if you totaled the cost of all 3 wedding ring sets, they would not equal $1000.  Does this mean that the men I chose to marry thought less of me because the rings weren’t thousands of dollars.. no it doesn’t.  It meant they couldn’t afford bigger better ring sets.  I didn’t base my love and decision to marry them on a monetary value.   If I had, I wouldn’t have married the first time.  I guess I have a thing for poor people.

So how about you?  Would you pay for half?  And men.. would you want your woman to pay for half of it?  Chime in and let me know your thoughts.



9 thoughts on “Ladies: Would you do this?

  1. Buying an engagement ring is waste of money! Most likely you will get a divorce from your first wife. My second wife wanted no part of an engagement ring. but, I did pay for the wedding bands, which is a totally different thing.

    • Would I like a big fancy shiny ring on my finger.. sure.. is it a priority? Not at all. I want other things like my bills paid, a savings account for those emergencies like car repairs and such. My wedding was $50.. that’s what we paid the Pastor who married us. No frills, no friends, no family.. (well besides my kids and my EX MIL and how’s that for strange). I don’t have money to waste on things like that.. so I would say nope.. not gonna go in halfsies..

  2. Hm I don’t know about myself, but I do know the story of my mom and dad were similar to yours , in that my dad proposed without a ring and they migrated to a new country and waited for however many months until he could afford to lavish her. And lavish her he did – every necklace and expensive jewelry was ‘from a long time ago in China”

    • That is sweet that he did lavish her when he could. It is the thought that counts. I know my husband would buy me the world if he could.. but he can’t and it’s not killing me because he can’t. 🙂

      • Yeah, apparently he only promised her on the the hand of marriage through his grandmother’s wedding ring, but that’s a heirloom of sorts (: I’d think my mother would give up all that to see him again though, love makes the world go round and all 😛

  3. I would have to say that i agree with you, Shannon. I think it is the mans responsibility too buy the ring. i have been married twice and both times each man picked out the ring. The guy I’m dating now would have a hissy conniption fit if i even suggested helping pay for something
    Like that.

    • I think Robert would have been offended had I offered this to him… I believe it is the person asking.. so if a woman wanted to ask her partner/boyfriend.. then she should pay..

  4. Personally, no. I would not be okay going dutch on an engagement ring. Here’s the deal…is having an engagement ring a deal breaker? No. If it was a matter of affordability, I’d forego the engagement ring portion for just the band. For guys who do all the talking about women get two rings and they cost a ton…and whine that it’s not fair…keep in mind, it wasn’t that long ago when fathers were paying dowry to the grooms for their daughters AND they had to pay for the wedding. Now, times have changed and the shoe is on the other foot. I like knowing that my guy took the time to go looking for something physical to be the symbol of his serious intent to share a life with me. I was a little different…I bought my husband a ring separate from his wedding band as an engagement gift as well. I’m also a fair girl…I know he spent a lot of money on my rings. I could afford to get him a really nice band with a bit of bling as well.

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