Hey Baby.. Hershey Makes a Million kisses a day..All I’m Asking For is 1 From You!

If your old enough to date then I’m sure you’ve either heard some kind of corny pick up line, or you possibly used one on someone in hopes to score a number from them.  I know I have, both of them that is.  I’ve heard every corny line out there and yes… I’ve even tried one or two out in my day.  Thank God I’m married now and don’t have to resort to them anymore.

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Sometimes the pick up lines are so very corny that they make you laugh, which in turn breaks the ice and usually ends up in a conversation with the person.  Other times the delivery is so off that you just kinda smack your teeth with your tongue and kinda step away from the offender in hopes that the realize how stupid they just sounded and proceed to melt into the floor and just go away.  Then you have those other times… you know where I am going here.. those other times that is just so wrong on so many levels your not sure if you want to run screaming from them because you fear they are about to chloroform you and then turn your bones into wind chimes, or just smack them upside their head.  Hard.  With a brick.  Several times, just to make sure they got the point to never ever try that line again.  Yup, I’ve had a few of those too.

 

I figured I would share a couple that I have either heard or used.. I’m talking about the really bad ones.. either super corny or super creepy.  I’d love to hear what your worst of the worst one(s) were… so comment and let me hear em.

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So for my really corny one.. this is one that I used personally.  As you all know, well you should if you follow my blog at all.. I have a real soft spot for anyone in uniform.  I don’t mean like a US Postal Service uniform (them blue shorts just don’t do it for me).. I’m talking Military.. Police.. ya know.. the one’s with authority of some sort.  So one time my bestie and I were in a bar.. Oh Tequila.. how it always made me know no fear… Anyways.. we were sitting at the bar drinking, laughing, checking the guys out.. when in walks 2 very fine uniformed men.  I couldn’t help myself.. I downed the shot, lifted the girls up in the bra some and sashayed over to the military hotties with my girl beside me.. and said to them.. “Ya know.. you should get your money back.”.. They asked why of course, so I replied “because the camouflage didn’t work.  We can still see you”… and we laughed… and they walked away.. and me and my bestie kept laughing.. and drinking.. good times.

Now in my line of work I will tell you that I’ve heard every pick up line possible.. from the very corny to the extremely clever and cute to the down right offensive one’s.  The very worst one I have ever heard was one of the guys here started chatting with me about my kids.  “Oh, you have kids?  How old are they?” he asked… me loving to brag about my babies said “Well he’s 15, she’s 10”.. he replies “Oh come on now.. you don’t look old enough to have kids that old.. Do you have any pictures of them?”.. me still not expecting anything bad out of this conversation says “Yeah.. would you like to see them?”.. he says “yes”.. so I show him the pictures and then I ask him “Do you have kids?”.. he says “Yeah.. you wanna see them?”.. I say “Sure”.. so he takes out his phone.. opens up his photo’s… and lets just say it was a picture of his “future” kids.. if ya get my drift… of course I told him off.. told him to leave my counter and don’t come back.  He thought it was funny.. All I could think of was “Is there really a female out there that would look at that picture and think.. oh yeah.. I wanna get on that!”.. if so.. she’s very sad.. has very low self esteem and should seek counseling.

 

So tell me.. what’s your best/worst.

 

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The Blame Game

If you follow my blog then you know I get a lot of my ideas for posts off of the morning radio show’s.  Well today is no different then any other.  This morning the DJ’s on the Kane Show on Hot 99.5 FM were discussing who is to blame if a man cheats on his wife.  Is the man to blame 100% or is the other woman to blame some too?  I really found their individual opinions on this subject interesting.  They all made great points so it got me to thinking about it myself.  Who is to blame.  I am going to give you my perspective on this topic then I welcome your own thoughts.

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It used to be at one time in my life I was a stay at home mommy.  This is when I learned that there is absolutely NOTHING worth watching on daytime TV for adults.  The cartoon’s my son watched were more interesting and intellectual then the crap on, but I’ll admit it… I watched a few of them.  Yes, I’m hanging my head in shame..I watched Jerry Springer, Maury and Guiding Light… Okay I’m not ashamed of Guiding Light!  I grew up watching it because my mother watched it on her lunch hour.  She and her mother listened to it on the radio when it first started so I always felt I dunno, closer to my mom by watching it.  The other two however, yeah there’s some shame there.  Side note though, Jerry has a new show on the ID Network!!!!!  You know I’m going to watch it because a) I’ve already admitted I watched his show before and b) I’m totally addicted to the ID Network.  Anywho… when I would watch these shows and it would be proven that the man cheated on the woman, 99.9999% of the time the woman would go after the side chick!  I would always sit there thinking.. what the hell man… she isn’t the only one to blame, the man is.. go beat your man’s ass.. or better yet.. let her have him and walk away with your head held high!  But alas, they never would.  They’d fight the girl, pull her hair, rip her shirt.. it was good tabloid TV.  The man would be sitting over there letting them go at it because he knew if he opened his mouth they’d both go off on him.

Now this morning Kane was saying he thought the man was 100% to blame.  That for him, when he married his wife and put that ring on his finger it meant that there would never be another for him.  That the ring signified a fence around him that no other woman should be able to get through and that it was entirely up to him to make sure that fence was kept strong and sturdy.  Which I completely agreed with.  He said that if he did ever step out on his wife (but he would never do that) that it would be 100% his fault regardless because he let it happen.  Dani however said that while she agreed with it she didn’t think it was always the man’s fault.  She said that if a women didn’t know that he was married then yes it was his fault.  If she didn’t know and then found out later but kept it going, then she was to blame too.  And of course, if she knew and went after him it was just as much her fault as his.  Kane disagreed and said that no, if she knew he was it was still the man’s fault because he allowed it to happen.  It was a very interesting debate/conversation.  It got me to thinking, really who is to blame if someone cheats?

I will admit that I have been both, the other woman and the cheated on woman.  Both places are dark and suck and just really do a lot of damage.  When I married my first husband I was totally faithful to him for the almost 3 yrs we were together.  I craved his love, and never got it.  What I got was him chasing anything with a vagina, him drunk and abusive, him stoned and abusive..but never his love.  A few months after we were married I sunk to a really low place, that’s when (we’ll call him Jake) Jake stepped into my life.  He was older, nice body, a cop and you know how I do love the uniformed men…He was everything I had always wanted in a man.. successful, good looking, very attentive, charismatic, funny…  I could keep going on but I won’t.  Well he started showing me attention, something I wasn’t getting at home.  At first I just thought he was a friendly older person who was just trying to offer me sound advice and just be there for me.  Then the flirting started.. and I kept thinking there was no way he was interested in me.. I was fat and repulsive (according to my ex husband) and that no man would want me so there was no way possible this man did.  Plus I knew he was married because he wore a ring and because his wife used to stop in the store I worked at all the time so there was just no way he wanted me sexually.  Things at home became increasingly harsh making me dive deeper into the self loathing pool of insecurities so I in turn desperately clung to the “attention” this man showed me.  One night on the graveyard shift he was in like he normally came in to the store around 3 am, after the bars had closed and most of the town was asleep for the night, and hung out with me.  He’d get his free coffee and donuts or hot dogs or whatever (store policy was we never charged the police/fire/paramedics) who came in for their coffee and stuff.  That particular night was dead, he was the only officer on that side of town and there was just no one else around.  I had stepped into the back room to start stocking the coolers for the day crew when he followed me back there talking.  This was nothing new, he’d done it a thousand times before so it wasn’t out of character for him.  I turned to say something when he grabbed my face.. whispered something very ummm.. erotic in my ear and kissed me…That was the beginning of the end for me. I crossed the line.  I knew he was married but I didn’t care.  I needed that attention and he was giving it to me freely.  So who was to blame here?  Was he to blame, since he was the married man (and oh yeah I was married to but by this point the marriage was over.. I just hadn’t admitted it yet and left.  That came a couple of months later) and he actively pursued me?  He even made the first move by saying what he did and kissing me like he did.  Or was I to blame?  I knew he was married, and I let him kiss me.  I then agreed to meet up with him a couple of nights later, when we were both off of work.  I knew what was going to happen and I didn’t care.  I had no concern for his wife or his kids.  The only concern I had was that my own husband not find out because even though he didn’t want me he had made it clear that no other man was allowed to want me either, or I’d wear a bruise or two to remember that.

At the time I stood by the thought that this was all on him.  If he was going to cheat on his wife there was nothing I could do about it.. and of course he did.  I wasn’t his first side chick and I damn sure wasn’t his last.  Why was I to blame for someone stepping out on their spouse?  If she had a problem with it she needed to take it up with him, not me.  I still believe he was at fault, however since I have grown up and been through so much more, I know now that I was partially to blame myself.  He was more to blame but still, I could have said no.

So whose fault is it?  If someone cheats in a relationship, is it their fault for cheating?  What if someone actively chases them knowing they are married?  Is it still their fault for cheating, or does the blame then get shifted to both parties?  What if someone enters into a relationship not knowing the other person is married, and doesn’t find out for months or even years?  Are they to blame, or do they only accept blame if they chose not to stop it after finding out?

Where Is My Apartment In The Sky?

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If you grew up in the 70’s and 80’s you were promised a future like the Jetson’s.  I remember sitting in my 3rd grade English class, Mrs. Phillips was my teacher and she was telling us how when we were our parents age we would live in this wondrous world.  We would have flying cars, and robot maids and everything could be done by pushing a button.  Now I realize what do live in a time that you can push the buttons on your phone to order a pizza or whatever but that’s not the same thing.  We were supposed to be able to live in a high rise way up in the clouds, push a button and have a 7 course meal in front of us in 5 seconds!  Our cars were going to fold up to a briefcase alleviating need for parking spots.   WHERE ARE MY FLYING CARS?  WHERE IS MY ROBOT MAID?  WHERE IS MY 7 COURSE MEAL AT A TOUCH OF BUTTON?  I’m past the age my mom was then… They lied to us.. those assholes!

$10 Could Make All the Difference

My best friend in the whole world is a 2x survivor of Cancer and has recently been diagnosed with a new Cancer.  This time Colon Cancer.  She is a single mother of 3 and is having a very hard time paying for all of her doctor bills and feed her kids.  No parent should ever have to decide between feeding their kids or having a life saving surgery or medical treatment.  Imagine if this were you.. or your mom.. sister, Aunt… imagine if it were your best friend.  What links would you go to to save her life?  We help her out as much as we can as often as we can.. but living 1000 miles apart makes it difficult.

So here I am….. begging you all.  Please.. find it in your heart to donate to help her out.  Share this blog so that it reaches as many people as possible.  She truly is a deserving person.  She is the sweetest kindest person you will ever know..or have the privilege to help.  Please.. please help…What is $10 today?  A cup of coffee from Starbucks with a pastry?  A movie ticket?  Lunch at a fast food place?  It doesn’t take much to sacrifice so little… and it will help so much.

Here is her link…

http://www.gofundme.com/kickcancerwithnikki

 

Share this.. share her story… help her continue to write her story!!!!!

Please Help Save a Life

http://www.gofundme.com/kickcancerwithnikki

 

My very best friend in the world has recently been diagnosed with Colon Cancer.  She is just such a wonderful person and she doesn’t deserve this.  She is already a two time survivor of Cancer and now she’s been hit again.  Why?  She’s amazing, and loving and she does so much for others.  She doesn’t smoke, she tries to healthy, she exercises and she honestly truly loves life.  She is a single mother of 3 wonderful kids and she is doing it all on her own.  For me she is the perfect example of what a true Christian should be.  Her faith is never wavering, her love of God shines through.  She doesn’t judge others and she doesn’t go around telling people that what they believe or do or how they live their lives is wrong because they don’t believe like she does.  Forgiving is a great word to describe her.

 

There have been a few people in my life who have been “constants”.  My mother was the first and foremost.  She lost her battle to Colon Cancer in 2000.  My friend Vince.  He lost his battle against Leukemia in 2010.  My friend/sister Nikki.   She’s managed to survive cancer twice already.  I told God the last time she was diagnosed that he was not allowed to take her.  I need her here more then he needs another angel in Heaven.  So I’m asking everyone to share this blog, and to donate to help her out.  She’s already on disability because the previous two cancers have left her with some medical problems and she can’t work a full time job.  Her disability doesn’t pay enough to a) provide for 4 people and b) pay for all the dr’s and and doctor visits.

If you have ever thought about donating to a charity or a family that was truly in need.. she is one.  Every dollar will help.  Your donation will help her feed her kids and fight this cancer so that she will live to raise her babies.

Please.. please help her out.

 

Thank you all and God Bless you.