If your old enough to date then I’m sure you’ve either heard some kind of corny pick up line, or you possibly used one on someone in hopes to score a number from them. I know I have, both of them that is. I’ve heard every corny line out there and yes… I’ve even tried one or two out in my day. Thank God I’m married now and don’t have to resort to them anymore.
Sometimes the pick up lines are so very corny that they make you laugh, which in turn breaks the ice and usually ends up in a conversation with the person. Other times the delivery is so off that you just kinda smack your teeth with your tongue and kinda step away from the offender in hopes that the realize how stupid they just sounded and proceed to melt into the floor and just go away. Then you have those other times… you know where I am going here.. those other times that is just so wrong on so many levels your not sure if you want to run screaming from them because you fear they are about to chloroform you and then turn your bones into wind chimes, or just smack them upside their head. Hard. With a brick. Several times, just to make sure they got the point to never ever try that line again. Yup, I’ve had a few of those too.
I figured I would share a couple that I have either heard or used.. I’m talking about the really bad ones.. either super corny or super creepy. I’d love to hear what your worst of the worst one(s) were… so comment and let me hear em.
So for my really corny one.. this is one that I used personally. As you all know, well you should if you follow my blog at all.. I have a real soft spot for anyone in uniform. I don’t mean like a US Postal Service uniform (them blue shorts just don’t do it for me).. I’m talking Military.. Police.. ya know.. the one’s with authority of some sort. So one time my bestie and I were in a bar.. Oh Tequila.. how it always made me know no fear… Anyways.. we were sitting at the bar drinking, laughing, checking the guys out.. when in walks 2 very fine uniformed men. I couldn’t help myself.. I downed the shot, lifted the girls up in the bra some and sashayed over to the military hotties with my girl beside me.. and said to them.. “Ya know.. you should get your money back.”.. They asked why of course, so I replied “because the camouflage didn’t work. We can still see you”… and we laughed… and they walked away.. and me and my bestie kept laughing.. and drinking.. good times.
Now in my line of work I will tell you that I’ve heard every pick up line possible.. from the very corny to the extremely clever and cute to the down right offensive one’s. The very worst one I have ever heard was one of the guys here started chatting with me about my kids. “Oh, you have kids? How old are they?” he asked… me loving to brag about my babies said “Well he’s 15, she’s 10”.. he replies “Oh come on now.. you don’t look old enough to have kids that old.. Do you have any pictures of them?”.. me still not expecting anything bad out of this conversation says “Yeah.. would you like to see them?”.. he says “yes”.. so I show him the pictures and then I ask him “Do you have kids?”.. he says “Yeah.. you wanna see them?”.. I say “Sure”.. so he takes out his phone.. opens up his photo’s… and lets just say it was a picture of his “future” kids.. if ya get my drift… of course I told him off.. told him to leave my counter and don’t come back. He thought it was funny.. All I could think of was “Is there really a female out there that would look at that picture and think.. oh yeah.. I wanna get on that!”.. if so.. she’s very sad.. has very low self esteem and should seek counseling.
So tell me.. what’s your best/worst.