So Woman Who Give Birth Naturally are Superior to Those of Us Who Don’t???

I was on Facebook this morning scrolling through and seeing what my friends had been up to when I came across a post a friend had shared that made me furious. He only shared it because it made him so mad.  We both couldn’t believe that some people actually believe this way!  Of course they call themselves “Christians” which gives me even more reason to despise the word (not the concept).  Here is the actual photo with the status they had with it.

 Disciples of the New Dawn March 29 · Edited ·     · Good advice from Matriarch Graber on behalf of The Circle of Matriarchs. They have delivered many babies over the years, NATURALLY and not once has needed a C-Section or pharmaceutical toxins. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing as it is the zenith of a woman's role in a moral Christian society. If God has decided to call you home, it is not up to you or a doctor to reject Him. You may find yourself cast into the lake of fire for doing so. God's Peace.

Disciples of the New Dawn
March 29 · Edited ·
Good advice from Matriarch Graber on behalf of The Circle of Matriarchs. They have delivered many babies over the years, NATURALLY and not once has needed a C-Section or pharmaceutical toxins. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing as it is the zenith of a woman’s role in a moral Christian society. If God has decided to call you home, it is not up to you or a doctor to reject Him. You may find yourself cast into the lake of fire for doing so. God’s Peace.

For ANYONE to say that if a woman has a child by C-Section is a) less of a woman ad b) going to hell is just completely baffling to me. How can people, in 2015 still believe this way?  I myself had to have an emergency C-Section with my first born.  It was then the doctors discovered that because I had a small pelvis and tilted Uterus that I would never be able to give birth naturally, so when my daughter came around we picked a date and planned her delivery.  I had no other option, well other then dying!  I realize that in “Biblical” days they believed that modern medicine was the devils work and they also believed that God would heal them and if he didn’t then it meant it was just your time to go.  Well that was then.. and this is now.  We have modern medical advances for a reason!  And thank God that we do or I’d had been dead by 3 months old!

Seriously though… how the hell do people still think like this?  Do they really think that if you chose to save the life of you and your child you’ll be thrown into the lake of fire for all eternity.


Mr. Postman.. please deliver this to Heaven for me

Dear Mom…

Tomorrow makes 15 years ago that you left us.  Some days it feels like just yesterday when you left, other days it feels like you’ve been gone forever.  You’ve missed so much in our lives and I wish I could talk to you and tell you about it all!  I know you see it from where you spend your days, but I still wish I could just sit and talk to you about it.  Oh how I miss you..

Jonathan is going to turn 18 in a month!  Can you believe that?  He’s a senior in High School getting ready to graduate.  His dream of joining the military he has realized will not come true because of the medicine’s he takes every day so now he has decided he wants to be a police officer.  I won’t lie, it’s scary because it’s scary times right now for Law Enforcement, but I will support him in whatever he wants to do with his life.  The last time you saw him he was a chubby cheeked cherub who was running non stop and driving me crazy!  You only got to see him two times, once when he was just 12 weeks old and then again when he was a year old.  I managed to snap a picture of you holding him that last time we ever got to see you.  Do you remember this day?  I do, but sadly Jonathan does not.


You left this Earth 2 years before Shelby graced us with her presence.  I’m positive you hand picked her out and sent her to me.  She has been my saving grace so many times.  Uncle Keith got to meet her a few years ago and he said she looked exactly like you did at that age.  In fact, he repeated it several times because he just couldn’t get over how much she resembled his lost sister.  I have to laugh at times when she’s talking non stop (I swear without stopping to breathe) because I can hear you saying “I hope you have a kid one day that talks as much as you do”!  Well you got your wish mom, because she never shuts up.  She hopes to one day be a famous actress.  Now who does that sound like?  She made the cheer squad this year!  I cried when she told me she made it because I was so happy for her.  She has so much more self esteem then I ever did especially at that age!  She’s on the honor roll every semester and she’s in the gifted program.  She defiantly takes after her me-maw. I really wish you would have gotten to meet her!  I know she would have adored you!


The past few months have been extremely hard for me and I wish more then anything that I could pick up the phone and call you up.  I’d give anything to just hear your voice.  The last two weeks alone have been enough for me to wish I could just lay down and go to sleep and wake up in your arms.  I have a very long hard battle ahead of me and I really need you here more then ever.  I am trying to channel your strength to make it through it all, but I’m exhausted.

Rob is doing good.  He’s doing everything he can to help me heal and keep my anxieties down.  He keeps reminding me that right now I need to concentrate on my health and let him worry about everything else.  You would really like him.  He’s a good guy and he loves your baby girl with all his heart.

Sadly Jodi and I are no longer speaking.  Things just couldn’t work out so I cut her loose.  Sometimes you have to let someone go even if you love them.  I wish her well but I can’t have her in my life.  I’m truly sorry for it, I feel as though I have failed you but I gave it my honest all.  She just refuses to meet me in the middle and I can’t worry about her and take care of myself.  To bad you can’t come down and smack her!

This year you got to bring your best friend home with you.  Please tell Linda hi for me, and that I love her and I’m glad she’s not suffering anymore.  Tell grandma hi and let her know that Aunt J is doing well!

There’s so much more I’d like to tell you, but there just isn’t enough time to write it all down!  Keep your ears open for me because I’ve been talking to you a lot lately.  I love you so much and I miss you more and more.

“You are my sunshine.. my only sunshine.. you make me happy when skies are grey.. you’ll never know dear, how much I love you… please don’t take my sunshine away”….

Love forever and always,



In memorandum of the greatest mother ever.. Virginia Lee Underwood (aka Ginger Lee) 11.22.1945 to 03.31.2000.

A Split Second…

It only takes a split second… that’s it.  Everything can change in just the same amount of time that it takes for you to blink your eyes.  Think about it.  Think about the times in your life when something happened or something that was said changed your path forever. Your first love telling you “I’ve met someone else” or “Maybe we should see other people”.  It only took a second to say the words but it changed you.  It changed your heart an your mind.  Later on in life you may have heard “Will you marry me” and you said “yes”, and all in the matter of seconds.

Maybe it was something wonderful like “You’re expecting”… or “its a girl/boy”.  or how about even “it’s twins”.  I myself have been blessed twice hearing “You’re pregnant” and once hearing “It’s a boy” then “it’s a girl”.  Sometimes in a split second life can change in ways you never really expected, and was better then you ever dreamed.  Those are the moments that we all hold onto to get us through those other moments that change things for the worse.

Maybe, sadly someone in your life or even maybe yourself heard a word that forever changed you.  Cancer.  I’ve heard that word in my life to many times.  I’ve lost 3 people I loved dearly to cancer, one just last week and I currently have one person fighting since 2008 to beat it.

Maybe the phone rang one day..and the voice on the other end was letting you know there had been an accident or someone you loved couldn’t handle life anymore and didn’t reach out for help.  That split second they made a choice that impacted your life forever.

We’ve all had split seconds in our lives that changed it and us forever.  We’ve all had split seconds in our lives where we have made decisions in split seconds that changed everyone else around us.  It only does take a split second….

I guess we all just have to remember that when things get really bad that it could all change in that split second… and when things are going good to cherish it, because that to can change in that same exact split second.

Some more completed Art work.. that are for sale BTW

I’ve been working on a few projects lately.  A friend wanted me to paint her an angel… and omg.. AACCKKK.. I can’t paint people… so I’ve spent over a week drawing and painting and practicing angels.  1908219_10152596958420870_4790740801240071620_n 10404189_10152599519690870_6618460671384954130_n3.19.15 10930168_10152597036090870_2039118690210753349_n angel 03.11.15


These are just a few of my attempts… but the time came to put it on canvas.  This is how it ended up looking when I finished it today.


Going home 03.20.15I’ve titled this one, going home.  I worked really hard on this one.. and I hope she truly loves it and isn’t just being nice because she’s my friend…

Yesterday a lady I considered a second mother growing up lost her battle to cancer.  I painted this one this morning for her.. it’s titled Saying Goodbye..

saying goodbye tree 03.20.15  Linda Shelton


The only other two I don’t think I’ve posted here are..

-acrylic-painting-acrylic-sunset-priyanka-rastogi unnamed (1)


You only miss them when they’re gone…

A few years back I started having these pains in my left shoulder.  They just continued to get worse and worse and after almost 2 years I was finally diagnosed with frozen shoulder.  It’s a horrible thing to live through and I don’t wish it on anyone.  Since the start of this journey I have lost more then 50% of the mobility of my arm.  Here is a link to see what it is  Now this link will tell you that it usually only lasts 1-3 years, but that’s not true in my case.  Of course since I’ve been diagnosed it’s also been figured out that I have a bulging disc in my neck and I have Ulnar nerve damage.

Anyways this posts really isn’t about the actual “Frozen Shoulder”, but more a list of things I miss the most about not having 2 fully functioning arms.  Everyone loves lists, right?

So in no definitive order… here it is..

5)  Being able to do my hair!  Do you know how hard it is to curl or straighten your hair when you can’t get one of you’re hands up to the top of your head!  I seriously have to tilt my head over to the side to try to reach my hair!  It’s quite the site actually.

4) Being able to pick anything up with it.  Seriously, there have been times I can’t even pick up simple things, like a stapler!  I have lost pretty much all muscle in this arm.  I feel like an old lady.


yeah, this is how my arm feels with any weight in my hand.

3) Being able to scratch my back!  Yeah, it’s not happening.  Now I have the claw…


2) Kinky sex.  Yeah I went there.  You can’t get freaky if you can’t not only use your arm but it’s severe pain if you move it in the wrong direction.  No 50 shades of grey for me.. 😦

1)  Putting my bra on the right way.  Just slide it on, reach behind and hook it.  And to take it off you just reach back and unhook and slide it off.. but I can’t do that!  No… alas.. I have to do the hook and twist.  It’s a pain in the ass.


Oh how I wish I could still this!


Before anyone suggests it.. I do have front clasps bra’s.. but they are all T Backs.. sometimes you need a bra that doesn’t have a sporty T Back.. ya know what I mean?  LOL