Reasons a Man Cheats!

My loving husband wrote a blog about women cheating, so I thought “Hey.. I’ll write my own blog on why men can be dogs and cheat on women”.. Now I have my own thoughts on why and I’ll go over them but I figured I’d back my own thoughts up with survey’s conducted.  Here is one of the survey’s I looked at.

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten_60/82_dating_list.html

Why-Men-Cheat

Now, number 6 on their list is Not getting any at home.  I will completely agree with this.  I’ve known women who just weren’t into sex at all in any way shape of form other then trying to conceive, and once they did.. that was it! They didn’t want it again until they wanted to have another baby.  Their poor spouses were just so frustrated they didn’t know what to do so they strayed.  In this particular case I will say I don’t blame them at all.  No sex isn’t the most important thing but it is important, especially if you have any kind of a sex drive.  My husband was married to a woman who never wanted sex, in fact she even told him that she only had sex with him because it was “her wifely duty”.  For her sex was not needed nor wanted, and she was happy to perform her wifely duty about once every 3 months or so.  Who wants to have sex with anyone that is only doing it because it’s their duty?  No one!  In my husbands case however, he did not stray.. instead he asked for a divorce and then found someone who wanted it more then once a quarter year!  When you have someone at home who isn’t interested in satisfying your most basic of needs then you start to doubt a lot of things about yourself, which sends you looking for that approval and need in someone else.  Is it an excuse to cheat, no.. but for me personally.. I understand it.

Number 5 is, She cheated on you.  Ahhh revenge sex.. how sweet it is!  Oh yeah, I’m guilty.. been there, done that!  Any man who has a woman cheat on him suddenly has that pride issue.  Before he even asks why or looks at the entire situation to see if he is at fault in any way he’ll think about his “manhood“… and once that manhood has been questioned then he immediately needs to go and prove that his junk is fantastic and that she was just a crazy whore and that’s why she cheated on him.  It won’t be until some time later after his testosterone levels have dropped and his pride has healed some will he look at the entire picture and see that maybe, just maybe it wasn’t what he thought it was about.  Hopefully he will learn from the entire situation, but chances are he will not.  Now do I think revenge sex is excusable like the #6 is, no.. not at all.  Like I said, I’m guilty of this myself and I know that when you act in haste, then it’s your own fault on the consequences and sometimes things can never be repaired once you cross that line.

Number 4, You want to know you still got “it”… Well umm.. screw you!  If you cheat on your spouse just to prove you still got it.. your a dog.. your lower then a dog.. your an amoeba on a flea on a dogs ass!  If you have a woman at home who loves you, is there for you, desires your touch and does what she can to satisfy your needs and you go put your dick in some other woman just to prove you can.. then you deserve all the hell that will come your way!  I hope she gets the house, the car, the alimony, your bronzed balls on her mantel.. the whole nine yards.  This is no reason, no excuse.. you suck if you do this.

Number 3, You couldn’t say no.  Well now.. unless she has slipped you a Viagra Roofie, has duct taped your naked ass to a bed or weight bench or something making your erection and easy place for her to sit down on.. has your mouth stuffed with a ball gag and has her way with you completely and totally against your will, which btw is rape… then you can always say no!  The truth is if you have sex with someone and then try to tell yourself and your spouse that you just couldn’t say no.. it’s because you didnt’ want to say no!  You wanted their touch, their taste… you desired it.  You liked the excitement and rush that came from it.  So yeah, guys.. never ever tell your woman “I just couldn’t tell her no” because what your saying to her is this other woman can control you in every aspect and that your too weak to fight it.. that will burrow into her head and she will forever think this other woman can have you at any time no matter what…

Number 2, She disgust you.. WOW.. this one really truly hit home for me… In my first marriage I was fat.. hell I was fat in the second and beginning of the 3rd too.. but in my first marriage my ex husband (who asked me to marry him when I was fat, then married me when I was fat so nothing changed) used to tell me all the time.. “Your fat and disgusting and no man will ever love you!”.. then he fucked anything that moved.. or just had a pulse.  Do you have any idea of what this did to me?  Lord, I reeled from this for years.. decades!  I still hear those words in my head and I’m down to 160 lbs now!  I still see that fat repulsive woman that no man will ever love.  If your spouse has gained weight the absolute WORST thing you can do is point it out!  If you want them to lose weight then you need to motivate them into it.  Don’t fight them over it, don’t tell them they are fat.. don’t’ ask stupid fucking questions like “Do you really need that piece of cake?”… those things just make them turn to food even more.  There is something going on in their own psyche and you need to get to that to help them.  But remember.. you can’t help them if they don’t want to help themselves.  Try getting them to do things with you, like taking daily walks or hikes.  Maybe buy bikes and go for a ride every day.  Start helping with the cooking ESPECIALLY if they are the one’s who normally do all the cooking, this way you can do healthier choices like grilled chicken, or fish and fresh vegetables.  If they ask why when you start doing these things, don’t lie but be NICE.  Tell them, I am worried about your health or I’m wanting to drop a few pounds myself and I thought this would be a good way to do it.  NEVER EVER EVER TELL THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE FAT.. if you do.. you’ve just damaged your relationship to a point it will never be truly healed from it.

And Number 1 is..You don’t love her anymore.  When my husband and I first started talking, AS FRIENDS.. he confided in me that he was so very unhappy in his marriage and didn’t love her anymore.  I gave him some advice that I will give anyone in the same situation… DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO FIX THE PROBLEM!  If you find that you aren’t “in love” anymore.. then start dating your spouse again.  Don’t try to create a “do over”.. do something different because obviously what you did the first time didn’t work forever now did it?  Date her, try concentrating on her happiness just as much as yours.  If the spouse isn’t happy.. then you’ll not be able to be happy either!  Marriage isn’t a 50/50 thing.. it’s a 100% thing as in you have to put in 100% or it’s not going to work.  If you both agree to therapy, try it.. but put in 100%.. don’t go in expecting the therapist to tell her it’s all her fault or vice versa so you can feel vindicated.  If you’ve done all of this and I mean you’ve actually put in time.. not a week or two but real time and effort and it’s not helped, then it’s time to cut the ties that bind.  Yeah, divorce can be expensive but in the long run it’s worth it.  Life is to short to live with someone that you don’t love and find that you can’t love anymore.  If you stay “for the kids” well guess what.. kids are smart and they see it.  They see how unhappy everyone is and they grow up to think this is how a relationship should be.  Is that how you want your daughter to live?  With a man who doesn’t love her?  How about your son?  Do you want him stuck with someone who makes him feel alone?  Nope, don’t think so.  MAN UP.. and walk away.. but don’t walk away leaving her completely alone.. ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE KIDS WITH HER.. just because it didn’t work out with you two doesn’t mean the kids should suffer!

Now there are so many other reasons a man will cheat.. but I think this list is a) long enough and b) pretty spot on.

 

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Lacy’s Journal

WHAT THE HELL!!!  I swear to God they are trying to drive me crazy.  Brianna decided that she needed a new dress for the date she was going to go out on.. so I took her shopping and everything was too ugly, too long, too boring!  She finally found one but it was $124… for a dress??? Not a gown, a friggin dress!  I refused to buy it for her and now she’s pissed off at me.  Well too bad baby girl, you weren’t born into a rich family.  I don’t even own a dress that costs that much, hell my wedding dress didn’t cost that much.   Then Derrick decided to break his leg playing basketball with his friends, ugh that was a fortune.  Little bit wants to do dance, soccer and gymnastics… UUUGGGHHH.. there isn’t enough time for me to do it all and Craig is still just all about him!  I asked him the other night if he wanted to help me do the dishes so we could just talk for awhile since we never see each other.  He said.. “no.. I have other stuff to do” and when I got done cleaning the kitchen I came out to find him passed out on the couch!!!!!  So he’d rather sleep then talk to me.  I tried to start sex with him last week, I put on my sexy black nightie and heels, did my make up and came into the room.  I got.. “Wow.. you look nice baby..” then a kiss on the cheek as he turned over to get his book.  So I went back to the bathroom.. washed my face, got my vibrator and got myself off.  Fuck it.  Fuck it all…

 

On a different note… the girls and I from work went out to lunch last Wednesday and hottie cop was there!  He smiled at me and then to my surprise he came up to me.  His name is Jackson.  He said I looked really familiar and wandered where he knew me from.  I didn’t want to sound desperate and go “Omg.. you were at my work and I saw you and ….”… so I just smiled and said.. “I do huh?”… he smiled so sweetly, he’s got a perfect smile.  Those eyes.. I could just swim in them.  I was actually a little wet after he left.  Oh what am I doing?  He’s not interested in me… and if he was.. .why would he be?  Okay.. I’m not bad.. but he’s so much younger then me!  Maybe he just wants a friend.. yeah, that has to be it.. he looks at me as a “motherly” type.  He said “I hope to see you again” when he walked out.  I find myself looking everywhere now for him.. just a glimpse.  I feel like a school girl again, and honestly… this is the excitement of my life… how sad is that?

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Lacy’s Journal Post 1

Disclaimer (the following journal entries are all fictional, any resemblance to any person famous or otherwise is completely coincidental ).

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Dear Journal,

Well, things at home have been a little hard to say the least.  The kids have been so moody and needy, I just don’t know what to do for them.  They all need to go here, go there, be there at this time, but dropped off away from the building.  They all want money, but none of them want to help out around the house.  I love them dearly, but I could use a little help ya know.  I work full time too, it’s not like I have 24 hours a day to devote to their every need and whim.  Craig has been so distant and unhelpful too.  His job has him working crazy hours and when he gets home hes tired and cranky and doesn’t do anything to help out with the house or kids, and when it’s his weekend off, well that’s his time to do what he wants, which doesn’t include the dishes, the laundry, the grocery shopping… Ugh!  I am so tired of all of them.  I want to run away.

On a different topic, we had some excitement at work today.  Apparently one of the ladies that work in the cubicals in the other office destroyed her husbands lovers car!  From what I heard she dropped her wallet at the scene..oh my God.. she took her purse to the scene of the crime..hahaha.  Well the cops came to arrest her and HELLO HONEY IN A UNIFORM.  He was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and oh how he wore that uniform just right!  I swear though, I think I caught him checking me out!  ME!  The old middle aged mom of 3 whose been married forever!  I can’t believe it though.. nah.. he really couldn’t have been, could he?  He had the bluest eye’s.. almost like a glacier blue, and tall… easily 6’4.  A rock hard body and tat’s on his arms.  Whew.. it’s getting warm in here just thinking about him!  I think maybe, I’ll go “think” about him in the tub.

Til tomorrow

Lacy

I gave my husband a “Treat” for Halloween…..

This is my first “skinny” Halloween EVER!!!  I’ve never been thin enough to wear those store bought costumes so on the rare occasions I did dress up, I made my own costumes.  This year I decided to dress up since I could.  So I went from this…

 

To this with just a little make up (okay, a lot of make up) a wig and a cape!

Who is this chick?

 

I had to laugh because several times tonight while we were out taking our daughter Trick R Treating I caught him staring at me.  When I asked him what he said, “Your freaking me out… I keep thinking your a different woman and I’m gonna get caught cheating on my wife with you.  I keep expecting someone to see me and go…ooooo your cheating on Shannon”…. So for tonight I let my husband cheat on me with another woman…