This morning I was thinking about liars.. all the different types of lies and reasons for the lies. We all start lying from the moment we learn to talk. Think about it, when your parents asked you “Did you do that?” and you knew you were going to be in trouble if you confessed you would “No…” and either blame the brother/sister closest or the dog/cat.
As we got older our lies changed from just covering our asses to helping us succeed in getting what we wanted. “Honest mom, Jill and I are just going to the mall and do a little shopping then we’ll be back at her house”, meanwhile Jill’s telling her mom the exact same thing except she’s saying she’ll be at your house.. then it’s a raging party all night! We also used it in school. “I’m sorry Mrs. Hand but I didn’t get to do my English homework because my little sister was very ill and we had to take her to the Emergency Room and we were there all night”.. Oh, don’t go shaking your head at me.. You’ve said similar lies yourself.. you know you have.
Then the really hard lies come when we enter the dating world.. and always seem to follow us into the married world. When we first start dating someone and they are just the cat’s meow for us we will do/say anything to hold their attention. Women will wear a little more make -up (yeah, that in a way is a lie too.. it’s covering what we really look like.. well at least some women.. some of us know how to enhance our beauty, not change it altogether), we wear heels to give us added height and the illusion of longer legs, our clothes are a little tighter to help us look thinner and lord those contraptions we call bra’s… hell we can look like we are a full C cup, nice cleavage and be overflowing looking when in reality we take the bra off and we’re lucky if we’re a B cup.. Thank you Victoria’s Secret (by the way.. her secret is she helps us lie and she’s way overpriced).
Then there are the lies that we convince ourselves are “justified”. You know.. if I tell so and so that such and such really did happen it will break their hearts, or “If my mom knew that I got that tattoo she told me not too she would be so very disappointed it would just break her heart.. so I just won’t tell her”. The thinking behind that is true to an extent.. yes it may break her heart to know that you got that tattoo she asked you not too but you with holding that information from her so that she finds out about it another way is going to be more damaging to her then if you just told her.
What if you were married and say you started talking with an old friend from High School. Maybe a few sparks ignited, not enough to end your marriage over, or even jeopardize your marriage over but yes, there are clearly sparks there. It’s nice at first to feel them. It’s an ego booster for anyone.. Hey.. this dude is into me.. I haven’t lost it.. I’m not an old married woman.. I’m a hottie!!! YES! Do you tell your spouse? Ummm no.. there’s that justified lying. “If I tell him it’s just going to make him mad and hurt and there’s nothing going on anyway so why hurt him/her over nothing?” Right! WRONG. I learned that lesson the hard way.. not telling just makes it even worse.
I think though.. what the worst lie is.. is the one that someone tells you when they themselves have lectured you on why YOUR lie was so bad… you know, that do as I say not as I do mentality. Why is okay for you to lie to me, but when I did it that was the end of the world as we knew it? Is it because your not as important as me? Or is it because you don’t want to get in trouble therefore your going to make it seem like it’s okay.
Okay.. maybe that’s not the worst lie.. no.. the worst lie is the one we tell ourselves and then we believe it! Maybe one day we’ll learn how to accept things for what they are.. then we won’t have to “lie” and say it’s all okay.