You only miss them when they’re gone…

A few years back I started having these pains in my left shoulder.  They just continued to get worse and worse and after almost 2 years I was finally diagnosed with frozen shoulder.  It’s a horrible thing to live through and I don’t wish it on anyone.  Since the start of this journey I have lost more then 50% of the mobility of my arm.  Here is a link to see what it is http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/frozen-shoulder/basics/definition/con-20022510.  Now this link will tell you that it usually only lasts 1-3 years, but that’s not true in my case.  Of course since I’ve been diagnosed it’s also been figured out that I have a bulging disc in my neck and I have Ulnar nerve damage.

Anyways this posts really isn’t about the actual “Frozen Shoulder”, but more a list of things I miss the most about not having 2 fully functioning arms.  Everyone loves lists, right?

So in no definitive order… here it is..

5)  Being able to do my hair!  Do you know how hard it is to curl or straighten your hair when you can’t get one of you’re hands up to the top of your head!  I seriously have to tilt my head over to the side to try to reach my hair!  It’s quite the site actually.

4) Being able to pick anything up with it.  Seriously, there have been times I can’t even pick up simple things, like a stapler!  I have lost pretty much all muscle in this arm.  I feel like an old lady.

weakness-clipart-0511-0811-0415-3729_Cartoon_of_a_Skinny_Guy_Lifting_Weights_clipart_image

yeah, this is how my arm feels with any weight in my hand.

3) Being able to scratch my back!  Yeah, it’s not happening.  Now I have the claw…

bear_claw_blue

2) Kinky sex.  Yeah I went there.  You can’t get freaky if you can’t not only use your arm but it’s severe pain if you move it in the wrong direction.  No 50 shades of grey for me.. 😦

1)  Putting my bra on the right way.  Just slide it on, reach behind and hook it.  And to take it off you just reach back and unhook and slide it off.. but I can’t do that!  No… alas.. I have to do the hook and twist.  It’s a pain in the ass.

back-of-bra-hooking

Oh how I wish I could still this!

 

Before anyone suggests it.. I do have front clasps bra’s.. but they are all T Backs.. sometimes you need a bra that doesn’t have a sporty T Back.. ya know what I mean?  LOL

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I have the best Sister EVER

A few weeks back I posted a blog about a few of my favorite things.. Well today I got a package in the mail from my sister Michelle for my birthday.. (it’s not til next week but she let me open it early.. she really does love me)…. Well guess what she got me??????

 

favorite things

 

Yup.. pretty much everything on my list!!! How cool is that?  She got me nuts, vanilla body spray from Avon with the vanilla lotion and body wash (which I am out of!)  The manicure scrub from Bath and Body works with a hand lotion.. and 2 gift cards for Chick Fil A for my LEMONADE…. Man… she rocks!!!!  I love her so much!!!!!

 

Btw dear readers.. her son is in the hospital.. and in a lot of pain.. he’s had one operation and has more to come.. I ask that if your are a praying person.. please say a prayer for him.. Put him on your prayer chains… and just lift him up in light and good thoughts.. pray for strength for her too.  His name is Christopher, and her name is Michelle…  Thank you..

 

 

What if….

If you’ve read any of my blogs.. you’d know how much I love what if questions.  So I figured I’d post some questions for y’all to answer.. Feel free to ask me any of your own..  A special thanks to my FB friends who helped me out with some questions.. and my hubby of course.

what if

1)  What if you won the lotto?

2) What if your biggest hater won the lotto?

3) What if the Zombie Apocalypse really happened?

4) What if you met ________ (favorite celebrity) in person?

5) What if you woke up one day, and everyone was gone?

6) What if your spouse wanted to sell everything and hitch-hike across the country?

7) What if you got pregnant simply by kissing?

8) What if alcohol was outlawed again?

9) What if you had all the money you ever needed, what would you do with your days?

10) What if men were the one’s who got pregnant?

11) What if all TV/Movies stopped?

12) What if the machines came to life?

13) What if there were no internet?

14) What if you found out your spouse hired someone to kill you?

15) What if you found out your spouse committed a crime (like bank robbery)?

16) What if you bought something at a thrift store/yard sale and found something worth millions in it?

17) What if your spouse after years of marriage told you they were gay?

18) What if all the food sources ran out?

19) What if tattoo’s were mandatory?

20) What if it was illegal to get a tattoo?

Okay… so there is 20 what if questions…  here are my answers..

1) I’d be hard to find

2) With my.. luck she will

3) I”m gonna blame my husband then beat him up

4) I have and I was literally speechless

5) I’d go crazy.. I’d be like Will Smith and start naming some dolls and stuff

6) I divorced him

7) Lord help me.. thank God I didn’t

8) I really don’t drink much anymore so it wouldn’t phase me

9) Well after I traveled every where I wanted too and did what I wanted too.. I’d help people

10) The species would die out

11) Hmm… I  guess read.. a lot

12) I”d live in the country w/ no machines.. (and throw out the vibrators)

13)  I remember the days without it.. I’d go back to that.

14)  I’d kill him in an “accident”

15) I’d have to turn him in.. I’m terrified of prison… I’m just to pretty to be in prison

16) I’d run an ad in the paper, if no one could tell me what it was.. I’d keep it.

17) I’d say “prove it” cause he’s a homaphobe..

18) I’d kill myself.. I have a fear of starving to death.

19) I’d be good cause I have 5

20) I’d be a law breaker cause I have 5..

Zombie’s EVERYWHERE…

Good morning my fellow bloggers… How are you this morning? Good.. ready for the end of the world tomorrow??? Yeah, me either..oh well.

So I figured today I would write and talk to you about the joy , um hell, no that’s not the right word either.. NIGHTMARE.. yes that will do, nightmare of living with someone who truly 100% wants the Zombie Apocalypse to start.

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbur...

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbury Park NJ, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Seriously!  My husband, (if you don’t know him you should go read his Zombie Diaries at http://radaronelson.wordpress.com/ )  truly wants the Zombies to walk the Earth.  He loves Zombies.  He owns every Zombie movie made, he watches every Zombie movie/TV Show there is, yeah I watch them with him but that doesn’t mean I want it to happen, and owns a crap-load of Zombie books.  He even verbally raped my ears by forcing me to let him read me the first book in a series called the Zombie Fallout Series, (Mark Tufo is the author and he’s awesome.. I love his writing style, sarcastic like me.. check out his site too http://www.marktufo.com/extras.html )

Zombie Fallout

Now luckily for him I enjoyed the book.  In fact I enjoyed it so much I read the next 4 in the series.  I’m currently holding off reading the latest one simply because my son has now read the series and wants to read this one, which would be okay but he refuses to do his homework and only wants to read and we’ve told him he can’t read this one until I do.  (I figured I’d let him read it over the Christmas break) I know, I’m mean.. so!

I try to understand the appeal of this impending doom happening.  I mean there are some bright sides to it.  I could finally go take a baseball bat to a couple of people that up until that point I will have held off the urge to do so.  Bitchzilla, oh yeah.. and if she hadn’t been bit yet.. I’d pull a Shane and shoot her ass in the knee so she could hold off the other Zombies while I escaped!  The ex.. oh how I would take my time on that one.. BAM.. this is for hitting me.. BAM.. this is for hitting our son.. BAM this is because your a lousy fuck.. ya know.. take out the 13 years of abuse on him.  See, I have thought about the “what if”.. HA, and y’all probably thought I wouldn’t get the what if in this blog!  I ALWAYS get the what if in.

Zombie trash the dress session with Orlando ph...

Zombie trash the dress session with Orlando photographer RIch Johnson (Photo credit: ~Rich Johnson~)

Now beyond that, absolutely nothing else appeals to me about this virus.  I mean if you think about it, EVERYONE you know is either dead, or living in fear of being eaten.  How is that a way to live?  Children have no childhood, I mean look at poor Carl in the Walking Dead, he had to witness his mother be given a C-Section with no Epidural or drugs of any kind, then he had to shoot her in the head so she wouldn’t change into one.  Poor guy, I cried for him that night.. SHUT UP, I KNOW IT WAS A TV SHOW.. but I could imagine that for real and it made me cry.  Another thing, the stench of death and decay everywhere you go.  Dead rotting bodies everywhere.  There are approximately 7 Billion people in this world.. that’s a lot of bodies laying around half eaten, decomposing or not laying around but walking around trying to eat you!  Then there is the living with the knowledge that every single person/animal on the planet is infected and that when you died.. you will come back and be one of those stinky fucks.  Do you want to live in a world where you have to have your children/loved one’s put a bullet in your head to keep you from turning?  How traumatic is that?  Why does anyone want to live like that?  I have no clue.  I’m terrified of it.  If it happens, I will probably take my own life and my kids just so we wouldn’t have to live like that.  My husband, God love his delusional soul, tells me he would protect us.  Great.. glad you think you can baby but lets see here.. you can’t walk down stairs without tremendous pain in your knee, you can’t run because of said knee.  You can’t walk up the 3 flights of stairs where we live without huffing and puffing so umm baby.. how are you going to out run a mob of hungry dead people?  Plus.. and here’s the biggie.. WE OWN NO GUNS.. AND ONLY 1 BASEBALL BAT!  No bow and arrows.. just some small kitchen knives.

So thank you anyways but no thank you.  I would prefer to not ever bear witness to the great Zombie Apocalypse.  I want no part of that life.  And I swear to God Robert!!!!  If it ever does happen.. I am truly blaming you.. it will be all your fault for wishing/dreaming/hoping and praying for it to happen!  Y’all really have no idea how hard it is living with someone who gets excited for this to happen.  He has our youngest daughter scared it’s going to happen, she’s even had nightmares about it. THANKS ALOT DAD!  Ugh!

My Christmas Wish list

I don’t want much for Christmas.. I’m not asking for things like the new IPhone 5, or an IPad or a new Mercedes… nope.. nothing like that.. just a few little things.. So here is my list..just in case you wanted to get me something.

5. One Beeelllion dollars..

drevil

4.  When we were kids we were promised that by time we reached our parents age we would be living like the Jetson’s … well I’m passed that age now so dammit.. I want my robot maid..Rosie..

rosie

3.  I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas..Only a Hippopotamus will do..

2.  Freaking Sharks with Laser Beams on their Freaking Heads… everyone deserves a hot meal..

sharks_w_laser_beams

and the number one thing on my wish list is…

waffleI love you waffle bot!

I don’t think my list is asking for too much, do you?  I mean, I am worthy of all of these things…right?

You like me.. you really like me… again.. :-)

560618_431496570246356_680468744_nHoly Cow… I did NOT expect to log into WordPress today and find not 1 but 2 nominations for Blog of the Year 2012!!!  How freaking amazing is that?  I would like to thank Clark Kent and Iamforchange’s Blog  for their thoughtful nominations of my little blog. They both have such wonderful styles in their writings, I truly enjoy reading both.   I started writing this blog about 10 months ago as a way of channeling my energies, a creative outlet if you will.  I have such an ecliptic blog site that it surprises me that people actually read it, and surprises me even more when they nominate me for an award!  I will do my best to continue to offer a variety and always give my opinion (whether you ask for it or not..lol).

The following is the rules for this nomination!

1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award.

Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award.

Please include a link back to this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award – http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/our-awards/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/and include these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alterthe rules or the badges!)

Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them

You can now also join the award’s Facebook group – click ‘like’ on this page‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award Facebook group and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience if you choose to

6 As a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar … and start collecting stars…

Yes – that’s right – there are stars to collect!

Unlike other awards which you can only add to your blog once – this award is different!

When you begin you will receive the ‘1 star’ award – and every time you are given the award by another blog – you can add another star!

There are a total of 6 stars to collect.

Which means that you can check out your favorite blogs – and even if they have already been given the award by someone else – you can still bestow it on them again and help them to reach the maximum 6 stars!

Here are the nominees  I have chosen for the ‘Blog of the Year 2012:

The first one is of course Clark Kent ‘s blog.. since he was the first one to nominate me I want to help him receive all of his stars.

That takes me to blogger number 2… Iamforchang’s Blog … Thank you again for nominating me

Next is MY RIGHT TO BITCH.. this guy kills me!  Every time I read his blog I know I’m gonna laugh.

Number 4 is ~Don’t Quote Lily~  even though she is on hiatis and will not be able to accept it for awhile.

And my number 5 is Crimson Lies: Vermillion Ties.. I’ve recently started following this blog and so far.. I like it.

 

Well there you have it… Due to time constraints today I’ve opted to only nominate 5 this time.  I hope you all check their sites out and keep following mine!  BTW.. if your wondering why I didn’t nominate my husbands blog (if you know us you know we blog and comment on each others all the time) it’s because he told me not too, not because I was being mean.  🙂