Still??? When will this ridiculousness stop?


I just read this article and I must say I am so completely outraged over this.  Here is the link, take a minute and read it then come back.. I’ll wait..–abc-news-topstories.html

SERIOUSLY?????  When oh when will people stop looking at the color of someone’s skin, the size of their jeans, the shape of their eye’s to judge what kind of people they are?  As someone who use to weigh over 260 pounds I understand these women’s complete and total shame and guilt and humiliation they are now reeling from.  I only hope and pray that they stand their ground and do not stand for anything less then a public apology and serious disciplinary actions against the individuals who not only did it, but laughed at it and joined in on it. Hell I hope they take them to civil court.  I understand that the business owner was not there and cannot control the employee‘s 100% and has already apologized so I do not believe that he should be sued over this.  The people who did this however, can and should be sued.

I remember going out to eat when I was 8 months pregnant with my son.  It was an all you can eat Chinese Buffet.  I seriously did not eat that much because my son was killing my stomach and I couldn’t get much in.  I ate one plate that only had about half of it filled and went back to get an egg roll.  This horrible woman who worked there and knew me and the other employee’s I worked with because we ate there a few times a month, usually once a week at least, looked at me and said ‘You so fat, you no need second helping”!  I was humiliated beyond belief.  My co-worker Barbara told the woman “She’s not fat she’s pregnant you witch” and the woman apologized but by then the damage was done, I was humiliated and in tears.  This wasn’t the first time I had been completely degraded while eating, I guess fat people are never suppose to eat because we have enough fat stored on us that we don’t need to ever eat again.

The really ironic thing is, now I’m down to 147 pounds, I’ve lost over 120lbs from my heaviest weight and I’m still discriminated against.  I’ve had people tell me “Your TOO skinny, you need to eat”.  My own nephew (who was extremely angry with me) called me an “Anorexic B**ch”, ya know because if your skinny you obviously have a eating disorder, ESPECIALLY if you loose weight.

Because of all the name calling I’ve heard my entire life I now suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder.  It will never matter how much weight I lose or gain, the plastic surgeries I am facing to correct the problem areas I’m always going to hate my body, thanks to people like these ignorant jerks.  Nothing would please me ore then to see them become fat one day and have someone make them feel the same way.


Advocate Against Discrimination

Advocate Against Discrimination (Photo credit: FreePride Foundation Project)


Do you ever think of me????

Day Dream (Explore!)

Day Dream (Explore!) (Photo credit: Loving Earth)

Just like most people I have had friends and family and lovers come and go in my life.  People that at one point I thought would be in my life forever but because of this or that they no longer are.  Some have passed away, some have moved away, some just so busy in their own lives there hasn’t been enough time to re-connect, some just lost their damn minds and had mental break downs and just haven’t been hospitalized yet, oh wait? That last one is just me and my life?  Yeah ok, like none of you have a crazy family member who decided at some point to stop thinking rationally and become the “crazy cat lady” or the “psycho who managed to get all of your mom’s stuff and then lie about it all to you”… oh snap.. yeah, that one was my family.. sorry, lost track for a minute.


Anyways.. today while I was at work fuming over an incident that happened this morning that had me asking WTF happened in my life to get me here, I started thinking of people who have come and gone and wondered, do they ever miss me?  Do they ever think of me?  Did I mean as much to them that they at some point did to me?  If so, how come they left and don’t call?  My number’s been the same for 5 years.  And those who didn’t have my number before then could call my crazy sister, she still has the same number for the bar that our mother use to own (which is how one wonderful person found me!  Love you Marcy.. )  I’ve written about my sister before (the one who went crazy and lied and so on, yeah her) and it really kinda makes my heart hurt.  Her and I use to be best of friends.  Always there for each other, always on the phone with each other.  She’s in most of childhood memories, (minus the ones from when we got older and had our own friends we hung out) but even then we still hung out with each other.   It’s been 12 years since all hell broke loose between us and although we’ve talked (even civilly to each other) it’s such a strained relationship I doubt it will ever be repaired. I find myself wondering if she ever thinks of me, I mean in the “Oh my gosh I sure do miss her… I wish I hadn’t turned into a lying witch and pushed her away”… not in the “I hope she dies and I never see her again” way.


What about past lover(s).. at some point maybe you thought they were it! They were the one that you saw yourself with forever, (or maybe just that night.. hey now, don’t judge).. where are they?  Do you ever find yourself on your bored days wondering.. “I wonder does that jackwad ever think of me.. and realize what he’s lost?”..


I dunno.. maybe it’s just me.. I know my husband will say he doesn’t.. when people are out of his life they are out completely.  He doesn’t believe in wasting time on the “what if’s” scenarios..Yes, I tell him he’s strange all the time.