Curse it all to hell

Cursed (2005 film)

Cursed (2005 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you believe in curses?  What about generational curses?  Voodoo curses?  Do you believe it’s possible for one person or one family be cursed for life?  Or you do  you believe that they are only able to work if the person believes they are cursed and buys into it causing their own bad luck?  What about the Jackpot curses in Vegas, you know where people win the big Multimillion dollar jackpot only to die the next day?  That leads into the Lotto Winners Curse.  How many times have you heard about people who were so deserving of winning the big Power Ball Lotto and their lives became worse because of the money windfall they were cast into?

You see, I ask because I believe that I am cursed, that my family is cursed.  Somewhere along the line someone cursed our family.  I don’t know, maybe we deserve it.  Maybe I had a great great great something or other who liked to torture small animals and sacrifice small children to the dark Lord himself.  Hell, with the way my luck has gone,  maybe  the Dark Lord himself is my great great great whatever.  Did my 4 Great Grandma share a bed with the Devil himself?  What do I have to do the break this curse, and is it even possible?

It doesn’t matter what I do to try to be a good person, to live right and even yes try to be Godly in my way of thinking and living.  I try very hard to never be mean to anyone (unless of course they poke the bear with a stick.. then it’s a free for all)  I try to help when I can, to love unconditionally, to follow man’s laws as well as God‘s.  I’ve tried to show my kids that doing the right thing is right and will reward you in life with good things but it’s not working.

I could go into great detail about all the things that have happened to make me believe this but why bother?  It’s not going to change the outcome.  I just know that anyone connected to me seems to suffer the same fate as I have.  Just ask my husband now (although he’ll never admit that it is because of me his life sucks so badly now) but the facts are in black and white.  His life was better before me.  Now his health is declining, his emotional health is in jeopardy, he’s working harder then he ever has and he’s getting further and further behind in this life.  He will tell you it is not because of me but because of his Ex Wife and her relentless journey to ruin him, which is true to a point but.. and it’s a big but so stay with me on this… If he was with ANYONE else in the world she would not be able to get away with lying, stealing and defrauding 2 states for over a year and having the courts rape him financially over and over again giving her win after win.  No, if he was with someone who wasn’t cursed, the courts would have seen what was CLEARLY written in black and white and she would not have gotten away with it and he would be celebrating today instead of fighting his worst fears.  My ex got away with doing the same things and has yet to have his “Karma” come back to him, and I know now it won’t.  How do I know that?  Well it’s simple Watson, he’s not with me anymore so his “curse” of bad luck is over.

So here I sit… at work… angry, upset, fearful, anxious and wanting to run as fast as I can in a different direction.. but I know it’s no use as no matter where I go.. I’ll still be cursed.  If you think I’m over re-acting, that I’m just emotional and confused, ask my sister Michelle.. she’ll tell you we are cursed.  Ask several of my family members who are struggling to just barely survive, they will tell you.

Maybe I should just accept that I am on the dark side’s list and just start living that way.. it may be more fun and less stressful.  Well who am I kidding.. whereas the ex’s in our lives have gotten away with breaking the law over and over and over again.. I would end up in prison on the first offense.. the judge making me an example to all.

Advertisements

To Taboo for you

When I was a teenager I decided it would be a great idea if I dabbled in the dark arts for awhile, ya know because that’s always a good thing for someone who is a “sensitive” to do, NOT!  I didn’t realize that back then though, but thankfully my mother did, at least I hope it was her.  Anyways I decided to buy some Tarot Cards and a Ouija board.  I studied the cards and researched how they worked and tried to remember everything I could about them.  My mother found them and asked what I was doing with them and I told her I was interested in how they worked and wanted to learn and that I wanted to get a Ouija board too (I was a bit nervous about telling her I had already bought one just by the way she asked about the cards and i’m glad I didn’t).  “THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU WILL HAVE A OUIJA BOARD IN MY HOUSE YOUNG LADY, DO YOU HEAR ME?” was her response.  “Yes ma’am” I said as I prayed she wouldn’t search my room.  I didn’t understand why she didn’t want me to have one, I mean really Hasboro mass produced it so how dangerous could they be really?

I took my Ouija board and cards with me everywhere I went.  To my friend Lisa’s house for a Seance, to my boyfriend Vince’s house to try to contact our friend Gregg, and even dared to pull it out at home when my friends were over.  My bestie Nikki almost had a heartattack after we played around with it, and to this day she will not touch another one.  To calm her nerves I took my cross that I wore and placed it in some water and blessed the water to make it Holy so we could bless ourselves and the room.  LOL sorry, that just made me giggle thinking about it.  One night I even used it with my goody toe shoe’s sister Jodi (who is probably the one who told my mom I had it).  She tried to ask the spirits if I was a Virgin, damn nosey witch!  I pushed it to the “yes”, HAHAHAHA.

 

So one day I came home and decided I would try to use it by myself again.  I had tried a few times but nothing ever happened and I was determined to make it work this time.  I looked under my bed where I kept it and… it was not there.  Shit!  I checked the closet, the dresser drawers, my car… DAMN IT.  Where the hell was it?  I looked for that thing everywhere, I called all my friends to see if I had left it over at their house but nope.. no one knew where it was.  I so badly wanted to ask my mom if she threw it away but I couldn’t because then I’d be admitting I had the durn thing to begin with.  I managed to find my cards and didn’t lose them until 5 or 6 years later, but I never did find out what happened to that Ouija board.  I guess my mom threw it away, or Jodi did, or maybe it was a spirit…….