Another reason why the Zombie’s can’t happen

The other night I had a horrific nightmare that truly scared the crap out of me.  It was about Zombies and it lasted maybe 10 seconds, but 10 seconds in a world where I will fear like that was enough.  So here is my next reason on why the Zombie Apocalypse cannot happen.

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My husband and I were laying in our bed sleeping and I heard a noise and looked up at the wall behind us (now there is no space between the wall and the bed so there is no way this could of happened but in that split second my mind didn’t remember that), anyways I looked up and there was this female Zombie standing right over me about to bite my head.  She was just so nasty looking, words are hard to describe it all.  Her skin was pulled away and dangling from her face, her exposed teeth covered in a red/brown goo, her hair matted with what I assumed was blood, the smell of death and decay filled my nostrils.  I saw her and too the side of the bed I saw a male Zombie standing over Rob going in for the kill on my slumbering partner and I wanted to scream but it was too late…I guess I really do love my husband because my thought wasn’t “Oh my God I’m fixing to die”… nope.. it was.. “Oh my God he’s fixing to kill Rob.. I need to save him”….

zombie girl

 

I woke up with a jolt and my head in the direction of my dream saw two dark shadows on the wall and by the bed and for a nanosecond I was still locked in that fear… then reality sank back in and I heard the snoring of my husband and knew we were safe and it was just a dream.  My first impulse was to beat up Rob since he’s the one constantly talking about the impending Apocalypse… but I let him sleep.

I won’t live my life in fear of it happening, but I will always hold a fear in the back of my mind that it is possible.  And that my friends just sucks ass!

Zombie Apocalypse? No Thanks…

My husband is a huge Zombie fan.  He watches/owns almost all Zombie movies, he loves the Walking Dead and is excited about the prospect of the Apocalypse happening..seriously, he wants it to happen in real life.  I think he’s lost his damn mind, but the sad thing is there are a lot of people who do want it to happen.  Why?  Am I missing something with this?  My husband tried to explain it to me, that it was a way to start over.  Clean the world of the pollution and pollutants caused by humans.  Plus there’s the whole “and you get to shoot people in the head and not feel guilty for it” aspect which we all know is more like “I can finally put a bullet in my ex’s head and no one can get onto me for it”.  Yeah  I understand that, trust me.. I’d love to put a bullet in a couple of ex’s in my life BUT… I still do not see the appeal of a entire Apocalypse just for that.

Zombie Apocalypse (video game)

Zombie Apocalypse (video game) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’d rather just put a print out of the pic of the ex I hate most and draw all over it, stab it with a pencil and tact and just mutilate it.  I’ve done that several times of a certain Bitchzilla and it’s made me feel worlds better.  HEY NOW.. don’t judge me.. you know your gonna try it now..

I think if people really and truly thought about it happening, they wouldn’t be so quick to wanting it.  When I think of it I think of no more restful sleeps, always in fear of attacks at any moment.  I see food expiring and people killing each other for those last can’s of peas.  I see people who are no longer policed going insane and letting the evil side of their personalities take over.  I see women and young girls being raped and held hostage being used as sex slaves.  I see no water, no medications, no doctors or nurses, no surgeons.  People dying from something that would be easily corrected today.  I see no more Air Conditioning in the summer or heat in the winter.  No more ice for a cold drink.  No more chocolate… NO MORE CHOCOLATE… IS THAT NOT ENOUGH RIGHT THERE???? No more hot showers, or long hot baths.   When the batteries all die out, no more music.  No more movies or TV.  No pedicures or manicures (not that I get those now anyways)… No vacations, no parties… I just see a world of NO’s… and that’s just not a world I want to live in.

So to all of those who want this to happen… I think your insane.  Call me lazy, call me spoiled, whatever.. I don’t care.  I want my hot showers, I want my AC in the summer and Heat in the winter, I want ice for my water and dammit, I want my coffee pot to brew me a cup within 3 minutes every morning.  I want my chocolate, I want movies and TV.  I don’t want the smell of death and decay all over me all the time.  I don’t want to have to put a bullet in any of my loved one’s heads because they are bit or just died of natural causes.  I’d prefer for none of that to happen, thank you anyways.

 

Zombie’s EVERYWHERE…

Good morning my fellow bloggers… How are you this morning? Good.. ready for the end of the world tomorrow??? Yeah, me either..oh well.

So I figured today I would write and talk to you about the joy , um hell, no that’s not the right word either.. NIGHTMARE.. yes that will do, nightmare of living with someone who truly 100% wants the Zombie Apocalypse to start.

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbur...

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbury Park NJ, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Seriously!  My husband, (if you don’t know him you should go read his Zombie Diaries at http://radaronelson.wordpress.com/ )  truly wants the Zombies to walk the Earth.  He loves Zombies.  He owns every Zombie movie made, he watches every Zombie movie/TV Show there is, yeah I watch them with him but that doesn’t mean I want it to happen, and owns a crap-load of Zombie books.  He even verbally raped my ears by forcing me to let him read me the first book in a series called the Zombie Fallout Series, (Mark Tufo is the author and he’s awesome.. I love his writing style, sarcastic like me.. check out his site too http://www.marktufo.com/extras.html )

Zombie Fallout

Now luckily for him I enjoyed the book.  In fact I enjoyed it so much I read the next 4 in the series.  I’m currently holding off reading the latest one simply because my son has now read the series and wants to read this one, which would be okay but he refuses to do his homework and only wants to read and we’ve told him he can’t read this one until I do.  (I figured I’d let him read it over the Christmas break) I know, I’m mean.. so!

I try to understand the appeal of this impending doom happening.  I mean there are some bright sides to it.  I could finally go take a baseball bat to a couple of people that up until that point I will have held off the urge to do so.  Bitchzilla, oh yeah.. and if she hadn’t been bit yet.. I’d pull a Shane and shoot her ass in the knee so she could hold off the other Zombies while I escaped!  The ex.. oh how I would take my time on that one.. BAM.. this is for hitting me.. BAM.. this is for hitting our son.. BAM this is because your a lousy fuck.. ya know.. take out the 13 years of abuse on him.  See, I have thought about the “what if”.. HA, and y’all probably thought I wouldn’t get the what if in this blog!  I ALWAYS get the what if in.

Zombie trash the dress session with Orlando ph...

Zombie trash the dress session with Orlando photographer RIch Johnson (Photo credit: ~Rich Johnson~)

Now beyond that, absolutely nothing else appeals to me about this virus.  I mean if you think about it, EVERYONE you know is either dead, or living in fear of being eaten.  How is that a way to live?  Children have no childhood, I mean look at poor Carl in the Walking Dead, he had to witness his mother be given a C-Section with no Epidural or drugs of any kind, then he had to shoot her in the head so she wouldn’t change into one.  Poor guy, I cried for him that night.. SHUT UP, I KNOW IT WAS A TV SHOW.. but I could imagine that for real and it made me cry.  Another thing, the stench of death and decay everywhere you go.  Dead rotting bodies everywhere.  There are approximately 7 Billion people in this world.. that’s a lot of bodies laying around half eaten, decomposing or not laying around but walking around trying to eat you!  Then there is the living with the knowledge that every single person/animal on the planet is infected and that when you died.. you will come back and be one of those stinky fucks.  Do you want to live in a world where you have to have your children/loved one’s put a bullet in your head to keep you from turning?  How traumatic is that?  Why does anyone want to live like that?  I have no clue.  I’m terrified of it.  If it happens, I will probably take my own life and my kids just so we wouldn’t have to live like that.  My husband, God love his delusional soul, tells me he would protect us.  Great.. glad you think you can baby but lets see here.. you can’t walk down stairs without tremendous pain in your knee, you can’t run because of said knee.  You can’t walk up the 3 flights of stairs where we live without huffing and puffing so umm baby.. how are you going to out run a mob of hungry dead people?  Plus.. and here’s the biggie.. WE OWN NO GUNS.. AND ONLY 1 BASEBALL BAT!  No bow and arrows.. just some small kitchen knives.

So thank you anyways but no thank you.  I would prefer to not ever bear witness to the great Zombie Apocalypse.  I want no part of that life.  And I swear to God Robert!!!!  If it ever does happen.. I am truly blaming you.. it will be all your fault for wishing/dreaming/hoping and praying for it to happen!  Y’all really have no idea how hard it is living with someone who gets excited for this to happen.  He has our youngest daughter scared it’s going to happen, she’s even had nightmares about it. THANKS ALOT DAD!  Ugh!

Logo’s for the Zombie Apocalypse…..

I came across a great page with cute logo’s for companies AFTER the Zombie Apocalypse..

Here are a few that I found amusing..

I wonder if a cup of braaainnnsss would still cost $7

I wonder if a cup of braaainnnsss would still cost $7

another good one

Good news.. the girls wouldn't gain any weight..

Good news.. the girls wouldn’t gain any weight..

Can I get a free chocolate cake w/ my order

Can I get a free chocolate cake w/ my order

I bet she eats Ken First

I bet she eats Ken First

I bet it's still full of fiber!!

Now.. not just chock full of vitamins and minerals.. but hair,teeth and parts of colon’s

Hey.. even Zombie’s will need to buy products.. and I think it’s great that these companies are targeting this new race of people..Bravo to them!

Zombie (novel)

Zombie (novel) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)