When you have bipolar sometimes you have mood swings for no reason at all, other times it’s brought on by something that has happened in our daily lives. It’s frustrating to the people who love you but it’s even more so for those of us who are feeling the moods changing. We can’t help them, we can’t stop them, we can’t do anything but try our hardest to not slip into a deep dark valley. It is in that valley where we truly feel alone, desperate and scared. I’ve been in the dark place many times and I always pray when I come out that I never go back again, only to find myself in it again.
Over the last couple of months things have gotten extremely hard for us and I’ve been living off of fear. Last week when things changed a little I thought I could take a breath and just be… I should know better. I feel the dark place taking hold again… I am trying to fight it but it just wants in. I don’t know how long it will last, a day, a week a month… I don’t know. I do know that I am on medication and have been for a couple of years now so these times don’t tend to last as long.
I am telling you this because when I get like this if/when I write I write very dark material. I apologize ahead of time.