Hills and Valleys

When you have bipolar sometimes you have mood swings for no reason at all, other times it’s brought on by something that has happened in our daily lives.  It’s frustrating to the people who love you but it’s even more so for those of us who are feeling the moods changing.  We can’t help them, we can’t stop them, we can’t do anything but try our hardest to not slip into a deep dark valley.  It is in that valley where we truly feel alone, desperate and scared.  I’ve been in the dark place many times and I always pray when I come out that I never go back again, only to find myself in it again.

Over the last couple of months things have gotten extremely hard for us and I’ve been living off of fear.  Last week when things changed a little I thought I could take a breath and just be… I should know better.  I feel the dark place taking hold again… I am trying to fight it but it just wants in.  I don’t know how long it will last, a day, a week a month… I don’t know.  I do know that I am on medication and have been for a couple of years now so these times don’t tend to last as long.

I am telling you this because when I get like this if/when I write I write very dark material.  I apologize ahead of time.

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12 thoughts on “Hills and Valleys

  1. Hey Shanny!
    First hugs…big ones! I know this place well and do everything in my power now to stay away from it. Love and light will always prevail. Don’t close yourself up, I’m glad your talking about it! it helps to free up your mind from all the chatter that goes on during these times. It’s easy for us to be negative, especially when there can be so much crap going on in our lives! I force myself to find at least one good thing out of every negative thought. It’s the only way I’ve survived all these years.
    Keep writing even about the darkness…we will pull you too the light! Hugs Paula xx

  2. Hang in there, I have no idea what its like to have your condition (is that the right word? sorry) but im assuming that and depression share a number of elements in which case I know what its like to be in the darkness. Hope you find your light soon and feel better hun 🙂

    • I always feel like I have too apologize.. I’ve had people tell me off and leave me because I’m always “so emotional and depressing”.. they have no clue what it’s like to go through this.. and I hate when people think bad of me even though I know they don’t understand it.

  3. Pingback: Images of Inspiration « The Lena Jácome Weblog

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