Lacy’s Journal

Disclaimer (the following journal entries are all fictional, any resemblance to any person famous or otherwise is completely coincidental ).  Also contains X-Rated scenes.. if your EASILY offended.. do yourself a favor and leave this blog.. Thank you

Tuesday-

My heart is broken… I am defeated.  Lacy was found today by two hikers.  They were out in a part of the woods that were searched but she wasn’t found then.  Her body beaten and bloodied and bruised, under some bushes, curled up in the fetal position.  From what we figured, she had been hit over the head initially and awoke later to more beatings… The autopsy will tell us exactly what she died from… but I can tell you that from the location she was found and where Tammie was found, she managed to walk/crawl almost a mile… the tears  haven’t stopped since I got home.  This is all my fault.. I threw Tammie away.. I didn’t know Shane was insane… I blew Beckie off… all of this is my fault.. the love of my life is dead because of me!!!!!  Three beautiful children are without a mother and have a father who has a long recovery ahead of him because of me…

I took it upon myself to be the one to tell Craig.   He broke down.. he aged years in mere seconds.. Lacy was the love of his life too.. and he will have to live with what he did that pushed her to me for the rest of his life.  I asked him if he wanted me to tell the kids but he said no, that he and his mom and dad would tell them.  He thanked me for being man enough to be the one to tell him… as I left I heard the sobs of a totally distraught man behind me.. triggering my own sobs, again…

The DNA test prove that I am the father of Tammie’s baby.  Another blow to my heart.  How can I love someone who came from the person who stole the love of my life away from me?  I just can’t.. I can’t.. I’ve decided to give up all parental rights to the baby.. I just can’t deal with him… not now.. probably not ever.

I am going to put in my notice.. If I couldn’t save her.. how can I stay on the force to try to protect others.. people I don’t even know? I just need to go away.. I think I’m gonna go to the Bahama’s.. stay in our get away bungalow.. and drink myself into oblivion..